Dirty Mag

Ok, so it’s one of those deceptive topless things, but Emma Watson is topless nonetheless. We don’t get to see any nipples or really much of her breasts at all, but she poses without a top in these photos by James Houston. She looks beautiful, which is no surprise, and the photos are surprisingly sexy despite their lack of boobage. She strikes some very seductive poses and uses those alluring eyes of hers like a weapon. In another, she almost looks to be in the middle of sex and, well, that should conjure up more than enough fun images. I’m also genuinely curious how long it will be before she has her first sex scene and her first (here’s hoping) topless scene. After all, it didn’t take long for Daniel Radcliffe to go fully-frontal on-stage for Equus. Are we going to have to suffer through Rupert Grint nude before we get to see some naked Hermione? Nobody deserves that.

Fucking hell, I’m beginning to think that Jennifer Nicole Lee is a total cocktease. I’ve seen even more pictures of her lately, hardly surprising given that it’s summer and she has even more reason to go out in skimpy bikinis. She’s famous for losing a bunch of weight and becoming a fitness guru, and she seems to seriously be living up every second of having a goddess-like body. She’s also obviously enjoying putting that body to use by turning men into desperate, drooling messes. That’s the only explanation for these pictures, which don’t seem to have any other logical explanation. She turns around to teasingly remove her bikini top, just barely hiding her breasts from view, while flashing her bikini-clad ass for the follow-up. Given that the purpose of this seems to be covering her breasts with a towel, it’s obvious that this is intentional and that she gets a kick out of teasing all the horny men who lust over her fantastically-fit body.

I’ve heard a lot of people bitching about the upcoming film adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, particularly because it stars Twilight actress Kristen Stewart. I can’t say for sure whether or not this film is going to be true to the book or take a bunch of liberties (Total Recall remake, anyone?), but I can at least say that there’s something you’ll all enjoy. Kristen Stewart may not be a great actress, but she is pretty damn hot and this is probably her hottest scene yet. Not only do we get to see Kristen Stewart topless, we also get to see her reaching down below the dashboard to give some dual handjob action to the lucky driver and passenger. So if you want to see her small, perky tits topless and see her in a masturbatory threesome scene, you’re sure to get it!

Magic Mike is out in theaters, so any of you who love the beefcake will get more than your fill of Channing Tatum and a slew of other hunky dudes. However, for any of you poor bastards dragged to this film by your girlfriends or wives, don’t despair. The beautiful Olivia Munn gets topless in the film and while this still from the movie should tide you over, you’ll no doubt want to see those perfect breasts of hers in motion. During the rest of the movie you can just zone out and fantasize about all the naughty, kinky things you’d want to do with Olivia Munn. As we’ve seen in the past, it’s pretty damn likely she’d be up for whatever you have in mind! Frankly, I’m still holding out for an Olivia Munn and Chris Pine sex tape leak, so we can see if her sexing lives up to her sexting.

For those of you who can’t help finding Madonna hot, the 53 year old singer is still at work performing and being scandalous. She’s not the most creative at the latter anymore, going for what turns out to look very similar to Janet Jackson’s infamous wardrobe malfunction, although Madonna’s is even more obviously intentional. The MILFy (GILFy?) pop veteran is already on stage in a bra, teasingly tugging at the straps before casually pulling down one of the bra’s cups, freeing a breast and flashing it for the whole audience to see and, thanks to the miracle of photography and the Internet, for everyone else in the world to see! Personally, I’d rather see Taylor Momsen finally stripping on stage as I’d predicted, but topless Madonna will have to do for now. Since Madonna inspired so many other pop stars to be who they are today, maybe they’ll follow this slutty example of hers as well!

Everyone loves Sofia Vergara so it’s not as if I have to convince you to look at these pics. And, really, if you need to be convinced to look at a sexy celebrity’s tits, then shame on you; I expect you readers to be better perverts than that. Hell, I’d check out nude photos of Rumer Willis just to prove I can, goddammit. GQ Mexico seems to be a step above GQ USA in that they’re able to not only convince Sofia Vergara to wear a sheer top, but they’re also willing to publish the photos of her big tits and sexy nipples right there in the magazine as if it weren’t even a thing. I can only imagine the handwringing that would go on here in America over publishing something like this in a non-porno mag. And while I already think Sofia Vergara is one of the hottest MILFs alive, she hammers the point home on the cover by wearing animal print lingerie like a true cougar.

Jennifer Nicole Lee has been popping up a lot lately, the fitness model always eager to show off her body, and who can blame her? After reaching 200 pounds, she dropped 70 of them and maintained her tight, toned figure, and you can see her bod plastered all over magazines and fitness videos. She poses in bikinis quite often, of course, but this time she only poses partially in a bikini as a photographer snaps some nipple slip pics. They’re pretty awesome, quality shots too! Getting such a good view of those breasts, I can offer my unprofessional opinion that Jennifer Nicole Lee has breast implants. Seriously, just look at those glorious tits, firm and perky on her fit-as-hell body. After dropping 70 pounds, I’d expect them to look less than perfect, so I have to imagine she’s had some work done, whether it was a lift or implants. That or she made a deal with the devil.

You may remember Nadya Suleman better as Octomom, the woman who birthed a litter of eight babies. You may also remember her as being mildly attractive, which is the only reason she was really popular in the first place, having been compared “kinda sorta similar looking to Angelina Jolie.” Back when she was still popular (which seems like decades ago in pop culture time) she was very popular, even getting an offer from Vivid Video to do a sex tape for $1 million. Instead, she now finds herself likely wishing she took that offer, instead resorting to topless photos in a European magazine for a comparatively-paltry $10,000. The pictures themselves are pretty lackluster, just her posing in panties and covering her big tits with her hands, all in front of a bland white background. One can only imagine how much hotter this would be if she’d jumped on the opportunity when it first knocked. At least maybe then they could have chipped in a green screen.

There are countless fetishes out there I can’t explain, and glasses are one of them. One could argue it’s the illusion of intelligence, but I don’t really believe that’s the driving force. Whether you follow that theory or whether you don’t give a damn why you find it hot so long as you get to see more hot women in glasses, Mr. Skin has updated with a list of their favorite nude celebrities wearing glasses. Taken from a variety of films, I can’t argue with most of this list, but their #1 is Paz de la Huerta. I’m not a fan, so I’m going to highlight #2-4 instead, and if you want to see the nude clip of Paz de la Huerta, check it out for yourself over at Mr. Skin.

#2 is Nicole Kidman, who looked hot (and often nude) in Eyes Wide Shut. #3 is Laetitia Casta who has always had an absolutely incredible, petite-yet-curvy body. You may be too busy staring at her big, perfect tits to realize she’s wearing glasses (and nothing else), but she is! #4 is Kathleen Robertson from Boss, who rocks glasses like nobody’s business, somehow looking professional even with her perky tit hanging out.

Adrianne Curry reached her 300,000 followers mark on Twitter, which means that she had to own up to her half of the deal. Unfortunately, it’s sort of a mixed blessing. On one hand, she did post a topless picture, as promised, but on the other hand it’s not that great of a photo and it’s about six years old. Shot from the side, you can still make out both of her breasts to some degree, but like most people, I was hoping for a more up-close frontal shot rather than her trotting out some old pic. Not to mention that Adrianne Curry has had larger implants since then, meaning that we don’t even get to enjoy the larger, more impressive rack she sports today. After all, she posed for Playboy a while back, so seeing photos from around that time is nothing new. Still, even in this old image she looks hot as hell, flaunting her perky breasts and tiny waist, but many are annoyed that she’s now said she’ll post a more recent picture when she reaches 500,000 Twitter followers. To make up for that, I’ve also included a couple non-topless images of her which are still sexier than this old photo.