Dirty Mag

Hopefully by now you’ve heard of Mr. Skin, pretty much the top site for anything related to nude celebrities, sex tapes, and the like. The magnificent horny bastards there have listed their top ten nude scenes of 2011, and it’s not a list I can argue with. I posted on Bianca Kajlich‘s nude scene where she bares a flawless pair of tits, and that starts the list off at #10. There’s the hot lesbian sex scene from Game of Thrones featuring Esme Bianco and Sahara Knite. Elizabeth Olsen proved that she has more meat on her bones than her older sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley, and by meat I’m pretty much referring to her awesome breasts. The choiecs for #1 and #2, though, I think could go either way. Lake Bell took the top spot with her D-cups in How to Make it in America, while the more petite (but no less sexy) Emmy Rossum flashed her chest in Shameless. Sign up for Mr. Skin to check out the full 14-minute video of these ten nude scenes, and get access to an absolutely enormous amount of scandalous celebrity content.

Kirsten Dunst was featured here a while back for appearing nude in Melancholia, a film in which she won the Best Actress award at the Cannes film festival. This would normally be where I say something cheesy about how she’s showing off her own “Cannes” in these images, but you’d be…right. Really, what more do you want? This is Kirsten Dunst in some HD-quality screencaps from the film, showing off her big tits in a couple of the images. Not lame pseudo-sideboob or covering herself either; these are clearly images of Kirsten Dunst topless, and there’s even one image where we get a perfect view of her award-winning ass. Check out the movie Melancholia if you want to see her nude body in motion, and if you want to see what all the award fuss is about. Apparently they don’t just hand those things out because a Hollywood star strips for the film.

Kirsten Dunst hasn’t done much in the way of provocative content lately. Perhaps she let the success of the Spider-Man movies go to her head or perhaps she just didn’t get the right role. What she needed was a bizarre artsy film, something in which she’d be told the nude scenes were ‘tasteful’ by some guy with a soothing foreign accent. Well, she seems to have found that in Melancholia, a film by Danish director Lars Von Trier, a film in which she also gets completely nude. In one cap, we get a far away shot of her totally naked and lying back on some large rocks. In an even better one, someone is apparently helping the nude Kirsten Dunst stand up, a shot in which we get a fantastic view of her tits. I never knew Kirsten Dunst had such big tits, but it would seem she’s got some nice C or D-cups going by the sideboob photo, complete with nipple shot.

And honestly, what else is it good for? Seriously? Titanic has a few scenes with some action, some great SPLAT! moments, too, but really, it was a long, long, LONG, love story, that was told by an ancient old broad who tosses a billion bucks into the ocean. So if you’d rather fast-forward through the romantic musings of an Alzheimer’s-ridden geriatric, to get to the real action, we won’t stop you. Kate Winslet has an amazing rack: or at least, she did in this movie. So grab the popcorn, the lube, and the remote…. and take this baby for a test drive!

I looked around forever for decent nudes of Natalie Portman, in the short film Hotel Chevalier, but they don’t exist. So I set out to catch my own, but –and this is the kicker, the reason you can’t find any good nudes from the movie, is because they don’t exist. Natalie Portman plays Jack Whitman’s mind-screwing ex-girlfriend, whom he ran away from, and hid in a Paris hotel room from, for over a month. The scenes unfolding in the short film are discussed later in The Darjeeling Limited, between Jack and his two brothers, played by Adrien Brody, and Owen Wilson. I only bring all this up because I think both are brilliant, and not just because they both have crazy tourist sex in them.

I hate having to decide between porno movies for stimulation, and horror movies for actual entertainment, so it’s always a relief to find a horror movie with decent nudity in it; that is to say, more than one scene with tits. Because, more often than not, there’s like one titty shot that lasts five seconds, tops, and that’s it. Not that the gore and mindless violence don’t keep me entertained, but nudity is important for a good horror film too. The Clinic (2011) is about a backwoods baby-ectomy, –late term pregnancy, so we can assume they snatched the baby. There’s lots of weird nudity and full frontal shots with a badly stitched stomach wound. Never understood the whole, waking up in a bathtub full of ice with stitched incision concept; wouldn’t it be less troublesome to just take your organs/baby and leave without bothering to sew them up? If you’re willing to sink to baby/kidney stealing, why not murder? The world of cinema logic is a strange one.

Let’s face it, there a million of them out there. Hell, it’s hard to keep Nicole Kidman in her clothes; unless she’s in a PG-13 movie, or something meant for kids. Whether Nicole’s acting out a hot scene of mind-blowing sex for the camera, or just walking around on the red carpet, her tits love to be seen.

Either that, or she needs to sue her wardrobe adviser for constantly inducing exposure in public. We selected a few of our favorite nude scenes and titty pics of  Nicole Kidman just for you.