Dirty Mag

…and preferably, throw in a dash of pussy. Good pussy, not old pussy. Seriously, we’ve seen Renee Olstead, –we think, –and wow. Tits, ass, pussy, even masturbation. Amanda Seyfried has terrific tits, and Megan Fox never disappointments, –Vanessa Hudgens is unfortunately, being closely, and litigiously guarded, but that’s okay, fuck her, we’ve seen her naked before anyway. Nananananana. But I want more, –what can I say, I’m a greedy bitch? Personally, I’m in the mood for Rihanna, whose few leaked photos were blurry, and sucked, –she needs to rehearse her shit. Maybe Scarlett Johansson, but seriously, she’s a little too much of a dolly for me. I like my girls to be brazen and brassy, –I’ve seen Angelina Jolie’s tits, but I’m still praying for a sex tape.

Ah, if wishes were horses beggars would ride. There are too many female celebrities out there who need more nudity in their lives. I don’t think I need to include the jail bait girls among these, –but I will, starting with Taylor Momsen. Hurry up and turn 18, Jesus Christ, what a tease. Am I in a hurry to see a Miley Cyrus sex tape? No, because I’m almost sure the cameraman would be her dad, seeing as how the two have a clearly dysfunctional fame-whoring relationship. Those hackers responsible for doing all the damage need to watch out for the FBI, and in the meantime, keep providing photos of idiotic celebrities, who have yet to figure out that nude photos will always end up on the Internet.

I love Megan Fox’s tits… she has one of the best racks in Hollywood, and I could honestly not be prevailed upon whatsoever, to give a shit as to whether or not her hotness is affected by her inability to act. To be fair though, this is because I really can’t see how her acting is any worse than the acting of anyone else her age in that carer. Are they trying to say Kristen Stewart is like, the Julia Robert of her generation, while Megan Fox, much hotter, much more talented, is going to be labeled the D-lister? I think not. Plus, Fox knows how to keep us interested without being a total whore, –if her sex tape ever does come out, only then can we let her gradually fade from the limelight. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon; Fox is one of the rare women who are fully aware of their own magnetism and how to best use it to their advantage.

And why shouldn’t she? Megan Fox is hot; she’s the Queen of All My Lesbian Fantasies; that’s right guys, you’re hearing about how hot Megan Fox is from a chick who has, in real life, on several occasions, had masturbatory fantasies about her. Wam, bam, thank you ma’am. And if I can’t resist Megan Fox looking all prone and sexy in her tattoos –which are all literary, and to me, that’s a big turn on, since chicks who read are hot anyway, –then I know you can’t. Behold, O Seekers of Hot Chix, pictures of Megan Fox in her undies! Try not to drool on your keyboards, mk?

Drive down along Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, and you’ll see the city’s newest attraction – a barely clad Megan Fox and Cristiano Ronaldo showing off their hotness once again in their second ad campaign for Emporio Armani. Some of the more narrow-minded and less able to admit our horniness are actually claiming that Megan, Cristiano and/or Armani (I’m so hazy on the details because I can only see those two hot bodies in my vision) could be responsible for any accidents caused where their bulletin board is clearly displayed. Some people (I’m lookin at you, Harvey Levin) have actually claimed that it could be “attractive nuisance” or whatever.

I say it’s not a nuisance at all and Megan and Cristiano should be able to drop their clothes and show us their respective and barely clad puss and penis whenever they want. And that they should actually be encouraged to keep doing so. In the meantime, you may want to take a stroll down the Strip, rather than a drive. Just for your own safety and all.

They’ve had two campaign ads now for hot designer, Emporio Armani, and in both Megan Fox and Cristiano Ronaldo make us feel all kinds of things as they stand before us in nothing but scanty underwear covering their hot bodies. Guys want to do her and be him, girls want to be her and do him. No matter how you look at it, it’s a win-win for everyone.

This first one came out last month and was a television campaign pushing the nice panties on both Meg and Cristiano. They both look awesome, but no matter what they were wearing, they’d both look awesome. Megan is every waiter’s wet dream as she opens the door coyly wearing nothing but her underwear. But Cristiano has come prepared and is soon showing off the package that every horny woman who’s ever stayed in a hotel room has dreamed of. The pictures are hot, seeing it all happen in actual motion in the commercial is even hotter!

And, don’t miss their second, and newest, Emporio Armani here!

People are calling this the “first Megan Fox upskirt ever” but, no one also seems to be too sure of themselves on that one. Whatever. Does it matter if this is the first or the fiftieth? It’s Megan Fox’s pussy and ass, for cryin out loud! Meg was obviously headed out for some hoity-toity black-tie affair with her husband, Brian Austin Green, when she made that age-old mistake of not making sure her vag was covered when getting out of the limo. Later on in the ceremony (or wherever the hell they are), Brian was quite sure to keep that shit covered. I knew he was never good for much.

We are especially lucky this week! Ashley Greene got into a bikini yet again to show us that she’s all human, and that she has a very fine form indeed; Britney Spears gave us a little taste of her ass; and Megan Fox even showed us her pubes! What more could we ask for?

Kelly Brooke has just posed for Playboy, and we get a sneak peek! [Hollywood Sleazy]

There’s little that’s better in this world than Bar Refaeli’s tits and when she stepped out with her main man, Leo, they nearly stepped out too! [Drunken Stepfather]

Ashley Greene slips into a blue bikini at Wet Republic, and it’s enough to make anyone wet. [Hollywood Sleazy]

Britney Spears sure seems to have cleaned up her act lately. But, with this ass flash taken just last week, it’s clear she’s still the same Britney we’ve all known and loved for so long now. [The Superficial]

Megan Fox recently did a photo shoot for FHM and when she tugged her panties down, she did so a bit too much. Although we didn’t get to see her snatch, we did get to see her pubes, just barely. Check out the pics and the video and see if you can get a better look. Either way, it’s still Megan Fox in her undies. [Egotastic]

In one of the weirdest photo shoots that I have ever seen, Megan Fox makes out, fucks, and dismembers a mannequin that is her identical twin. Her fake identical twin. The photo shoot was done for Interview magazine and when you see it in its entirety, it seems as though Megan rapes the dummy in a hallway, and then takes it apart and makes out with it. Like I said, this is some weird shit. I guess this is all Megan’s career amounts to now – doing weird stuff with weird things so maybe she can keep her names in the headlines. With Jennifer’s Body bombing at the box office, being kicked out of Transformers 3 (no matter how much she says it was her decision), and terrible reviews coming in for Jonah Hex, it seems that all Megan is now good for is getting naked. Or having a weird body double get naked. Ah well, works for us!

This week we have all the good stuff. With classic vag and pokie shots from those who can always be counted on, Paris Hilton and Katy Perry, to a new appreciation for those who are sometimes overlooked, such as Sheryl Crow, there really is a little bit of everything coming loose. And as usual, none of them disappointed.

Katy Perry gives us an upshot that takes the meaning of one to whole new level. While it’s clear that she’s wearing panties, it’s also clear that she’s got an unfortunate wedgie, and one of the very worst kind. [Boobie Blog]

Who knows why Sheryl Crow doesn’t get our attention more often. With bikini shots like this, she proves that she’s still very much MILF material. [Celebrity Bikini Gossip]

These pics of Megan Fox show her doing what she does best – shutting up and standing in underwear. Oh, and it’s Armani, but who the hells cares. It’s Megan Fox’s tits. [Egotastic]

Paris Hilton has forgotten her bra at home again and we get to reap the rewards with some fabulous Paris pokies. [The Nip Slip]

Pamela Anderson dons her classic red Baywatch bikini and well, seeing the differences between then and now is reason enough to check out these pics. [Celebrity Bikini Gossip]