Dirty Mag

I have the flu, so maybe some of you poor bastards are suffering from it too, this time of year. Science hasn’t given us a cure for the flu or cold, and brilliant scientist Jenny McCarthy urges us to shun vaccinations, so I’ve just gotta suffer. However, science has done many other good things, such as allowing women to increase their cup size through the magic of surgery and silicone. So, yeah, this post is for you fake tit lovers to help you feel a bit of relief from whatever ails you. The first pics are of one of my favorite celebrities, Victoria Beckham. While she tragically had her implants removed or downsized a couple years or so ago, Posh practically dripped with sex appeal when she had them. There was no way not to look at them; those glorious and obviously-fake breasts quite simply demanded attention, much like Victoria Beckham herself. For a couple of my other top silicone-enhanced celebrities, check out the rest of this post after the jump!
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Yesterday I wrote about how Spencer Pratt is going public with some naughty videos he has of his soon-to-be ex-wife Heidi Montag and how Heidi acted SO devastated on her Twitter when she heard the news – Yeah, that didn’t last long. Heidi has stopped “crying” over her sex tape long enough to talk business with Vivid Entertainment and now stands to cash in big. Legendary porn star veteran Jenna Jameson spoke on this, saying that she never bought Heidi’s victim act.

“Why do people do porno tapes, sell them, make boatloads of money, then LIE about being victimized. I know one girl who sold her tape herself,” Jenna tweeted.

“@SOFTBLUSHcom I know one of the girls that acts so prim and proper and sold her tape to get famous. The others I just speculate,” she continued. “I own up to my porn, I don’t cry and say my boyfriend stole it.”

Kim Kardashian called her sex tape “humiliating” even though got a $5 million settlement for it. Kendra Wilkinson gave teary interviews talking about her “extremely embarrassing” sex tape after it earned her millions. Then there’s Danielle Staub, who said her sex tape was “coming around for a reason,” try as she might to stop it.

Yea, I am right there with Jenna on this one. They lie and then cash in.

The latest rumor is that Spencer Pratt may be planning to release a sex tape featuring his soon to be ex-wife Heidi Montag and Karissa Shannon. Montag and Pratt recently filed for divorce… shock shock.

According to Pratt, he has a girl on girl sex tape featuring  Montag, and a friend of hers, playboy playmate Karissa Shannon and he is ready to go public with it. Shannon is not impressed with Pratt’s actions, tweeting, “@spencerpratt FUCK YOU!!!”

Montag wasn’t too happy with Pratt either, she sent emotional messages to her Twitter followers just hours after news broke that her husband was shopping around a sex tape. She told her fans she was ‘crying’ after adult entertainment company Vivid confirmed that Spencer had approached them about the video.

Pratt also said that he plans to write a book, and says that this one will definitely be better than his last effort. “My last book, How to be Famous, didn’t make the New York Times best-seller list because it was in the self-help section,” he said. “This one is going to be totally different. I’m not holding anything back.”

Hilarious, watching two grown men fight over a social networking site; even more hilarious, watching the only gay man alive with no sense of fashion, and probably Courtney Love’s only friend, calling someone else a flake. “You’re stupid!” … “No, YOU!” –Don’t these people have rich lawyers to do this kind of thing for them?

The whole fight started over Perez Hilton confirming the existence of an alleged sexual harassment lawsuit filed against the creator of The Hills, Adam DeVillo, by Heidi Montag. The story made the NY Post, and then it made Spencer Pratt seriously pissed off. After much profanity, and middle school insult tossing, Hilton revealed that Pratt told him about the existence of a sex tape featuring Lauren Conrad. And the show goes on.

Okay, thank god, the sex tape was recorded back when she was thin. And I guess, before she was incredibly pregnant. Kerry Katona is like the UK equivalent of a combination of Britney, Whitney, and Heidi.. Montag, not Klum. She went from hot to ABSOLUTELY NOT! Anyway, basically, she was a popstar at 18, for like, the length of one whole album. Wow. Then the really icky attention whore habit kicked in, and the shit hit the fan as far as her various publicity stunts go. Later, she went on to become a C-list celebrity, appearing in several reality shows, and being rejected by many more.

The video began circulating in spring of ’07, and it featured a woman who vaguely resembles Katona finger fucking herself and using the phone. Most agree that it couldn’t possibly be Katona because her brain can’t handle doing two things at once. Some of her more recent scandals include, showing up sloshed on a morning show, punching her accountant, and buying cocaine and meth from her own mother. Britney Spears has never seemed like such a well-rounded individual in comparison.

The Hills star Heidi Montag is planning on stripping down for Playboy again, but this time she won’t be covering all of her naughty bits – we’ll get to see it all. The rumor is that the reality star recently underwent ten cosmetic surgery procedures in a day and now looks very much different than before when she posed for Playboy last year. And by different I mean she now boasts some massive DDD boobs.

Montag is said to be considering a $500,000 offer to show off her new hot body in a new hot spread. Since she has finally got her body the way she likes it, she is ready to show us everything without covering herself up.

A source says that, “Heidi loves her new body, but she’s especially happy about her breast implants… She’s finally ready to pose topless.”

Well good for her, and really good for us.

The MTV reality show The Hills made her famous, but I think it’s really Audrina Patridge’s own hills that really boosted her to fame. With Audrina’s and Heidi Montag’s titties just about everywhere you look, who wouldn’t want to watch this show?! Christ, mute it if you have to but this is the stuff that wet dreams are made of! These sexy nude photos were taken of Audrina when she was the sweet (yet legal) age of 19 and trying to break into the modeling world. It’s the old story of hot young girl meets pervert photographer who likes to take nude pics of young girls. Audrina sincerely regrets the photo shoot, but I wouldn’t take that to mean as though we won’t be seeing any more from her. This is one girl that’s made to be a Playboy bunny at some point in her life. She’s too hot not to give us more!

Audrina has signed on to do the next season of The Hills, but she’s also set to star in her very own MTV show this year called The Audrina Show. And who doesn’t want to watch a show dedicated to this beauty queen? I personally think that she’s way hotter than Heidi Montag, not that Heidi isn’t a sex goddess in her own right. But come on, that pic of her in the cowboy hat? Ya can’t beat it! (Or maybe in this case, beating it is the whole point.)

While the rest of us were pretty sure that Heidi Montag couldn’t possibly get any hotter, –she had other ideas. Recently, Heidi Montag has gotten into the gossip columns because she decided to have ten cosmetic surgery procedures done in one day. Either she had ten huge moles on her back, or she actually went and made some alterations to the gorgeous body that the gods of porn so generously bestowed upon her.

But not to worry; we’ve gathered a few pre-surgery (as far as we know) photos of Heidi just for you.