Dirty Mag

Jesus Christ, for once I’m speechless. Nicki Minaj has always been about flaunting the sex appeal, having obviously altered her body to look even more like a mocha-skinned Barbie doll. In a new video by French Montana, featuring Nicki, she’s going all-out. Animal-print pants/leggings are worn like a second-skin over her thick thighs and that enormous, incredible ass. That’s great, of course, but nothing new; her hips and ass are basically always shown off. However, up top she wears nothing but an open, cropped jacket and a couple of pasties. It’s one of those things that makes you realize that as great (if overwhelming) as her ass is, her tits are just as amazing. I’m almost completely sure that they’re fake, of course, but no less spectacular as a result. They look big and heavy, with that awesome fake-boobed perkiness to balance that out, and they’re absolutely goddamn hypnotizing.

For some time now, rumors have been swirling around Taylor Swift regarding whether or not she’s had her chest enhanced. They aren’t exactly very popular rumors, given that it’s not as if Taylor Swift is rocking a pair of double-Ds, but there are still people who want to know the truth. Once again, images have emerged to fuel these rumors, of her wearing a couple different outfits in Spain both of which seem to show her with a decent-sized pair of tits. This could just be the work of bras, tape, and whatever other sorcery women use to make their breasts look larger than they are, but there are other photos that suggest otherwise. One pictured above highlights what appears to be a surgical scar, perhaps from her breast implants. As any regular readers here know, I’m all for fake tits, so I don’t care one way or the other. Whether she’s gone under the knife or found a new Wonderbra, she looks pretty damn sexy.

It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of bimbo celebrities, and it’s no secret that Katie Price is almost as much of a bimbo as one can get. Sure, we have Courtney Stodden, Pamela Anderson, Heidi Montag, and others over on this side of the Atlantic, but the UK loves and hates their own enormous-chested example. Like many of ours, I’m not sure what this silicone-chested attention whore actually does other than show up at various events with her boobs spilling out of whatever slutty dress she’s squeezed herself into. Frankly, I think squeezing a curvy body like that into a slutty dress is enough reason to be famous, although many others will disagree. I’m assuming that most of you readers are not among those dissenters. How do I know? Because you’re clicking those thumbnails above to see Katie Price’s massive fake tits in all their cleavage-y glory.

It’s easy to hate Jersey Shore and, by extension, the people on the show. But frankly, I think lots of guys might pretend to hate everything to do with it while secretly lusting after the curvaceous and sexy “J-Woww“. Hell, there are even plenty out there with a Snooki fetish! Let’s be honest, though, J-Woww is no doubt the sexy one, and pictures like this just further prove it. I’m not entirely sure what the hell she’s wearing, but it boils down to bra tops, panties, and stripper heels, which is about all I need to know. Ok, and the dollar sign earrings have to be mentioned too, because they might be the trashiest thing I’ve seen in months. More importantly, though, is the fact that her little outfits show off her hot tattooed body, particularly her incredible ass and long legs. I myself also have a thing for dyed hair, so those pink streaks in her dark mane have always been hot to me.

Jennifer Nicole Lee has been popping up a lot lately, the fitness model always eager to show off her body, and who can blame her? After reaching 200 pounds, she dropped 70 of them and maintained her tight, toned figure, and you can see her bod plastered all over magazines and fitness videos. She poses in bikinis quite often, of course, but this time she only poses partially in a bikini as a photographer snaps some nipple slip pics. They’re pretty awesome, quality shots too! Getting such a good view of those breasts, I can offer my unprofessional opinion that Jennifer Nicole Lee has breast implants. Seriously, just look at those glorious tits, firm and perky on her fit-as-hell body. After dropping 70 pounds, I’d expect them to look less than perfect, so I have to imagine she’s had some work done, whether it was a lift or implants. That or she made a deal with the devil.

Micaela Schaefer is a German model and reality TV star who you’ve probably seen pictures of before. She has an absolutely rocking body, made so wonderful by what I assume are fake breasts on her skinny frame. I’ve included some other pictures of her after the jump, so make sure to check those out for some cleavagey hotness, but the three-picture space above is reserved for these new images of her. The German sexbomb is wearing what looks to be a really cheaply made snakeskin bikini, crafted to look like two snakes curling around her sexy, nude body. The crafting of the bikini isn’t important though; in fact, its shoddiness is good because that means it could just fall apart at any moment. The snakeskin straps barely cover her obviously-shaved pussy and wrap around her luscious, fake tits, as if her flawless body somehow needed more attention drawn to it.
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It’s that time of year again! There’s nothing more thrilling than an enormous party on a brisk spring night, when the masses of women who are otherwise perfectly normal the rest of the year, go bra-less and will show anyone and everyone their tits. Small tits, big tits, high tits, low tits, old tits, new tits, fake tits, real tits, tan tits, pale tits, see-through, freckled; big nipples, little nipples, brown nipples, pink nipples, long nipples (ew), inverted nipples (some girls are just born unlucky), and there are so many combinations and shapes and sizes. If you have a hooter fetish, all you need to do is sit in a lawn chair with a few cases of brightly colored plastic beads, and dangle them in front of every vagina that walks by.

Your view of tits will only be obstructed by a dwindling supply of beads. For one night only, every woman in sight becomes a stripper.

I’d like to take a moment to review some of my favorites. The brunette, center, third row, is third place. The face she’s making is atrocious, but if you use your hand to cover her face, the rest of the package is worth the Down’s gleam in her scrunched up eyes. I’m partial to Tiny Pink Panties in the fourth row, center. Why go topless when you’re wearing sheer black over gigantic knockers, and no pants at all? 5 out of 5 for Tiny Pink Panties! 1st Place Prize to Pink Panties for originality, and a terrific looking crotch. Runner up is the Amy Adams lookalike, seventh row, center. She’s not quite developed enough to play Varsity, but I’m impressed with her talent. She’s managed to expose maximum flesh, and still look hot, –sans the face scrunching.

Who won the Erection Contest at your house? Let us know!

I really should feel guilty for posting about Tila Tequila and all the other attention whores I’ve blogged about, but when it comes down to it, these are the ones all too eager to show off their tits to the world. And, really, any woman with a hot body who’s willing to let the world enjoy it deserves at least some recognition. So yes, that’s why I’m posting about Tila Tequila, the crazy Asian cutie who’s known pretty much just for her shitty TV show and her amazing fake tits. And since this post isn’t about her show, you can be damned sure it’s about her tits! While out rollerblading (for some staged photos) she “accidentally” (read: not accidentally) let her tit fall out of her bra (because lingerie is standard workout attire). Reading into it isn’t important, just enjoy the fact that she has a tight little body capped with two silicone wonders, which should be on display as much as possible.

I’m not even sure what can be said about Courtney Stodden that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll just talk about her tits some more. Are they silicone? Are they saline? Does it matter? They’re absolutely enormous on this 17-year-old gold-digger and as much as everyone complains about how stupid it is that she’s famous, everyone continues to drool over her jailbait tits nonetheless. Yes, her face is caked in six layers of makeup and she looks as if she could be one of the 40-something Real Housewives of Jefferson High School or whatever, but so long as you look below the neck you can do nothing but stare and (maybe) feel guilty for thinking about this teen attention whore in such naughty ways. If you’re anything like me, though, your morality was gone years ago. Besides, with however much plastic is stuffed in there, this can’t be any more perverted than staring at the cleavage of the wax sculptures in Madame Tussauds. What, you guys don’t do that?

Holly Madison, formerly one of Hugh Hefner’s many Playboy bunnies, continues to pop up in celeb news. Nowadays, she has her own Las Vegas show called Peepshow, which is pretty much what you’d imagine: burlesque/cabaret action with the highlight no doubt being when Holly Madison bares her big, fake tits in all their awesome glory. In fact, she’s decided that her breasts are so glorious that she put out a $1 million insurance policy on the magnificent mammaries. I’m not exactly sure what sort of mishaps she’s expecting, but she’s one in a long line of celebrities who’ve put out insurance policies on some body part or another. It’s a small investment to protect one’s most famous feature, plus the news of its announcement makes bloggers like me give her free publicity. Yes, Holly Madison, I am totally your pawn. Well, so long as you keep showing off your million dollar tits.