Dirty Mag

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

One morning in Ireland, a woman in was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

“You’re a leprechaun,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”

So the leprechaun replies, “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”

The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”

The leprechaun replies, “OK, you’ve got it.”

The woman again thinks it over. “My second wish is a Mercedes,” she says.

“OK, you’ve got that too,” the leprechaun confirms.

“My last wish is a million dollars!” she claims, bouncing up and down.

The leprechaun then says, “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.”

“OK then, if that’s what it takes…” she says.

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?”

“I’m 27″, she replies.

“Fuck me,” says the man, “27 and you still believe in leprechauns?”

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”