Dirty Mag

An Emma Stone sex tape may be on the way. Radar Online reports that one of their sources calls the existence of a sex tape featuring Emma Stone “a fact.” I call it “a Thanksgiving miracle.” No, it’s not released and it’s not even (currently) being shopped around, but if it really does exist, that’s something in and of itself. This is apparently an older video from back when she was “just young and probably thought nothing would ever come of it” but anyone should have learned in the past 8 years or so that something will always come of a sex tape. This is also one of the cases where I’m sure it’s not a publicity stunt. She’s pretty much in demand as it is, and just recently starred as Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spider-Man. Whoever’s clutching onto this holy grail of celebrity sex tape goodness should strike while the iron is hot, sell that puppy, and let us all enjoy a video of Emma Stone having sex before Christmas rolls around.

Remember last month when I posted about SueLyn Medeiros and her huge, amazing ass? Trust me, if you saw it, you’d remember. Sure, she looked great in tight yoga pants, but that’s nothing compared to the fact that she now has a sex tape out there on the net. Available through SueLyn Exposed, this sex tape features the Brazilian beauty getting fucked by her boyfriend, a video which was supposedly stolen from her computer and not intentionally leaked so that she could become the next Kim Kardashian. I mean, who would even assume such a thing? Anyway, here’s a short sample clip from the full video so you know what you have to look forward to: a hot Brazilian chick licking balls and getting fucked doggystyle. And then fucked doggystyle some more. And then some more. Because, seriously, with an ass like that, she must have guys trying to bend her over every day.

If you’ve ever wanted to see Rihanna getting down and dirty, it’s becoming more of a possibility. Rumors abound that there’s a sex tape featuring R&B star Rihanna and rapper J Cole. Given that the rapper recently lost his cellphone, was touring with Rihanna months ago, and that the screenshots from the video show a woman with vibrant red hair going down on the lucky rapper, it’s not difficult to imagine the possibilities. None of this is confirmed, at least not yet, but hopefully within the next week or so we’ll see some pics and maybe a clip of the video for ourselves to try and identify the blowjob-giving star of the video. Both stars have denied it, but celebs have a history of playing it cool when a sex tape is floating around. Rihanna’s hair is pretty identifiable, so if the claims are true, we just might get to see the sexy singer with a mouthful of cock. Anything to keep her from belting out “Umbrella” again, really.

Jasmine Waltz has a sex tape out now! Who the hell is Jasmine Waltz? We don’t really know either, but some research shows that she was David Arquette‘s mistress, which isn’t exactly a claim to fame. Famous or not, though, she’s fucking hot, looking like a cross between Megan Fox and Adrianne Curry. The video’s being peddled at realjasmine.com where you can see a preview and some screen-caps of her tight little body and big tits. No doubt she’s trying to get attention like Kim Kardashian and the like despite her supposed surprise at this tape being leaked to the public, but who gives a shit? She’s hot, she’s fucking and sucking on film, and that’s all the excuse we’ve ever needed to watch porn stars in action. Hell, sometimes we even skimp on the hotness, but with Jasmine Waltz that’s not an issue at all. This is the type of woman we want to see in crazy, mainstream porn. Make it happen, folks, this is just the beginning!

Over the last couple of years, there have been so may different celebrity sex tapes. But were any of them any good? Check our list below, and we’ll let you know the sex tapes that sucked, and the sex tapes that were worth a second, third, or fourth look.

Miley Cyrus Sex Tape: It’s good porn, but it’s not really Miley Cyrus, –just somehow who looks and acts exactly like her!

Tila Tequila Leaked Sex Tape: Yes, absolutely, watch it a lot. The single most hot chick-only porn I’ve seen in forever.

Octomom Sex Tape – Ew, hell no! Don’t watch this, ever. It involves infantilism, S&M, and a heavily tattooed man in a diaper. Gag.

The Simpsons Sex Tape – Yeah, maybe if you’re mentally damaged.

Dita Von Teese Sex Tape – Do you really need me to tell you that the burlesque queen would make a hot porno? Thought not.

Kate Ritchie Sex Tape: Nope, bad quality, avoid! It’s grainy, and her body looks like… made of cheese or something. Yech.

…and preferably, throw in a dash of pussy. Good pussy, not old pussy. Seriously, we’ve seen Renee Olstead, –we think, –and wow. Tits, ass, pussy, even masturbation. Amanda Seyfried has terrific tits, and Megan Fox never disappointments, –Vanessa Hudgens is unfortunately, being closely, and litigiously guarded, but that’s okay, fuck her, we’ve seen her naked before anyway. Nananananana. But I want more, –what can I say, I’m a greedy bitch? Personally, I’m in the mood for Rihanna, whose few leaked photos were blurry, and sucked, –she needs to rehearse her shit. Maybe Scarlett Johansson, but seriously, she’s a little too much of a dolly for me. I like my girls to be brazen and brassy, –I’ve seen Angelina Jolie’s tits, but I’m still praying for a sex tape.

Ah, if wishes were horses beggars would ride. There are too many female celebrities out there who need more nudity in their lives. I don’t think I need to include the jail bait girls among these, –but I will, starting with Taylor Momsen. Hurry up and turn 18, Jesus Christ, what a tease. Am I in a hurry to see a Miley Cyrus sex tape? No, because I’m almost sure the cameraman would be her dad, seeing as how the two have a clearly dysfunctional fame-whoring relationship. Those hackers responsible for doing all the damage need to watch out for the FBI, and in the meantime, keep providing photos of idiotic celebrities, who have yet to figure out that nude photos will always end up on the Internet.

The internet is all aflutter over Octomom, Nadya Suleman, having made some kind of weird fetish/bondage/infantilism sex tape. Wow. Now, part of me is thinking, “Ew, gross!” but the other half of me expresses some morbid curiosity here. I mean, I have to wonder, what exactly does a pussy look like after it’s had eight babies at one time? How many chances are we going to get to see something like that?! Well, apparently, Vivid Entertainment has been issuing several offers to Suleman to go work for them, but she keeps rejecting them. But according to TMZ, she recently made a video which shows her in fetish gear, whipping a guy wearing a diaper. And, Suleman and her diaper-guy have signed releases which allow the video to be sold to a studio. Well… whatever. Judging by the content description, we may not get to see her pussy, but I’ve got my fingers crossed! By the way, I snagged some Octomom bikini pics up there. Can cosmetic surgery be anymore obvious? Franken-Mom!

But.. but.. we just covered her sex tape with Justin Frye, or whoever, like, two weeks ago. Now she’s already having another sex tape leaked. When are these stupid tarts going to learn, –don’t tape yourself screwing. Besides, her old sex tape is totally creepy. She looks like a 14 year old. The new one supposedly involves lesbian sex with a woman named ‘Tayrn’, –Tayrn’s ex was the one who blew the lid off the existence of the latest sex tape. Since we have yet to see it, you’ll just have to make do with the creepy stills from her old leaked sex tape, –well, old as in, leaked just a couple weeks ago.

Hilarious, watching two grown men fight over a social networking site; even more hilarious, watching the only gay man alive with no sense of fashion, and probably Courtney Love’s only friend, calling someone else a flake. “You’re stupid!” … “No, YOU!” –Don’t these people have rich lawyers to do this kind of thing for them?

The whole fight started over Perez Hilton confirming the existence of an alleged sexual harassment lawsuit filed against the creator of The Hills, Adam DeVillo, by Heidi Montag. The story made the NY Post, and then it made Spencer Pratt seriously pissed off. After much profanity, and middle school insult tossing, Hilton revealed that Pratt told him about the existence of a sex tape featuring Lauren Conrad. And the show goes on.

Just further proof that rich white blonde chicks have no business in the country music business. Though to be honest, when the occasional busty blonde country singing wannabe happens to get caught in a sex tape scandal, –well, who cares about what she’s doing to country music? She’s on her back, with her legs in the air!

The pill-popping star of ‘Celebrity Rehab’ is currently embroiled in a lawsuit with Vivid Entertainment, over the public release of her sex tape where she’s screwing some guy she calls “Peter”. McCready is also famous for being the “Baseball Mistress”, –Roger Clemens rejected her pleas to leave his wife for her. As far as the sex tape goes, we can’t find it, because Vivid Entertainment is hiding the teaser now that they’re being sued. But all we have to say is, thank god it was recorded before she got fat and wrinkly.