Dirty Mag

Maria Menounos recently lost a bet, having banked on her team, the New England Patriots. As you hopefully know by now, the Patriots lost, and it was glorious, if only because she had to host her show in Times Square wearing a Giants-colored bikini. Ok, glorious would be if she had to strip down nude, or offer herself up to the entire Giants team, or something else equally kinky. In fact, the bikini incident was pretty lame, however she did head to the beach in a different bikini for a far sexier set of photos. The Greek-American hottie donned a tiny blue bikini which showed considerably more, particularly due to the sight of her hard nipples poking through the thin top. The slender Maria Menounos has a fantastic pair of breasts which are outlined almost perfectly, and there’s even a nice ass shot as her bikini bottoms slip down!

You probably remember Victoria Silvstedt from the late ’90s when the busty Swede was Playmate of the Year and a successful model. Looking at her in these bikini photos, I have to imagine she’s still getting work even though I don’t recall seeing her anywhere. She’s 37, which isn’t old even for a model (Heidi Klum‘s 38) so while she may not be as young and perky as she was 15 years ago, that just means she’s now a smoking-hot MILF that anybody can appreciate. Her body is still in incredible shape, her legs are amazing, and let’s face it: her tits are the main showpiece here. The chesty Swedish beauty wears a halter bikini top which only serves to show off her ample chest even more, and given some of the shots taken of her, she’s totally aware. Looking at these pics just makes me wonder what Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio will look like when they’re nearing 40. My guess? Fucking hot.

So yeah, Lindsay Lohan posed for Playboy and reactions are mixed. Some love being able to see the freckled and troubled beauty nude, finally, while others are annoyed at the heavy use of photoshop and the cliche Marilyn Monroe shoot in general. Well, Miss Lohan has headed to Hawaii to prance around on the beach in a little, animal-print bikini, which is a nice treat for those of you who’d like to see Lindsay Lohan without photoshop editing. Even better, there’s a bit of a nip slip when her halter bikini slips down too far. Even aside from the nipslip, the pics are quite sexy, especially if you have a thing for freckles (which the Playboy shoot pretty much eliminated). So, which do you prefer? Seeing Lindsay Lohan nude in Playboy or seeing more candid shots of her wearing next-to-nothing, but sans image editing?

Remember that movie Swordfish where Halle Berry flashed her tits? Yeah, that was 10 years ago. And a terrible movie. 10 years later, though, Halle Berry (and her breasts) are still looking just as fantastic. She turned 45 yesterday, so once again I find myself posting a sexy cougar for you to enjoy. Like the others, age isn’t really an issue for her either. She clearly keeps her body in fantastic shape, as you can tell by her flat stomach and toned arms. But you’re staring at her tits, and I don’t blame you. Going for a sexy little halter bikini, Halle has those babies out on display; not as out on display as in Swordfish, but you can’t complain with this much cleavage or the sight of her nipples poking out against the bikini top. Now if she’ll only just celebrate the 10th anniversary of Swordfish by sunbathing topless again.

Selena Gomez ends the month of July for us in true summer fashion, by flashing some cleavage and ass all for our enjoyment. Sure, she can claim that she didn’t notice or that she had no idea there was a photographer nearby (ha!), but we all know that Ms. Gomez does it all for us because she cares. These pics feature the lovely and young Selena Gomez tanning at the beach, her bikini top undone and bottoms pulled down. As you’d imagine, doing so causes her to show off some perky cleavage when she leans up and the upper half of her ass, well, always. We even get a shot of her going into the water with her bikini top still partially undone, looking as if it will fall down and bare her 19-year-old breasts any moment now! Sadly, no matter how much I stare at her barely-legal body, her top isn’t falling down. There’s always tomorrow!

Katie Holmes is adorable and we need more of her. Human cloning isn’t really a “thing” yet, though, so we’ll have to do with just one Katie. We are given one miracle, which is that Tom Cruise has either let her out of her cage or he’s on the floor somewhere with a gnarly head wound and Katie Holmes is enjoying her few moments of freedom (sweet freedom!) before the cops haul her in. Not only is she out and about, she’s out and about in a bikini! Her marriage with Tom Cruise has led many to believe he’s holding her back and trying to prevent her from doing anything provocative. Well, fuck that, let’s see more of this beautiful brunette in skimpy bikinis. Or maybe latex slut-wear. I’d continue, but it’ll just end with fantasies of cute Katie Holmes working some seedy strip club for a few bucks while Tom Cruise cries in the corner. Don’t judge me!

I’ve been a fan of Avril Lavigne for years, not because I give a damn about her music, but because she has a hot little body and enjoys showing it off in punky little outfits. Sure, she’s not quite as trashy-hot as Taylor Momsen, but she has her own thing going. Neckties, raccoon eye makeup, pink-streaked hair: I can get behind that! Tiny bikinis aren’t really the thing I’d imagine her wearing; hell, I don’t picture her going out in the sun at all, which could explain her massive hat in these pics. But you’re not here for the hat, you’re here for Avril Lavigne’s sexy nipple slip as she chooses a bandeau bikini top a size or so too small for even her petite body. The hat can’t hide who that nipple belongs to, as it’s quite clearly our lovely punky Avril in (and out) of that pink and purple bikini. You can keep your hat on, Avril, but our hats are off to you and your nipslip.

Aaaaah! Kim Kardashian’s is coming to get you! Someone, make her sit down, quick, before her ass eats that bikini and terrorizes the city! Seriously though, I love a huge ass, –not necessarily a gigantic 450 lb ass, but a big, -fat-, chewable ass. Something you can sink your teeth into. Anyway, Kim Kardashian’s ass isn’t quite there, but with a few more trips to Burger King, she’ll be there. In the meantime, here are a few pics of her in  a bikini.