Dirty Mag

Micaela Schaefer is a German model and reality TV star who you’ve probably seen pictures of before. She has an absolutely rocking body, made so wonderful by what I assume are fake breasts on her skinny frame. I’ve included some other pictures of her after the jump, so make sure to check those out for some cleavagey hotness, but the three-picture space above is reserved for these new images of her. The German sexbomb is wearing what looks to be a really cheaply made snakeskin bikini, crafted to look like two snakes curling around her sexy, nude body. The crafting of the bikini isn’t important though; in fact, its shoddiness is good because that means it could just fall apart at any moment. The snakeskin straps barely cover her obviously-shaved pussy and wrap around her luscious, fake tits, as if her flawless body somehow needed more attention drawn to it.
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Valentine’s Day is a day for flowers, chocolates, love, and all that mushy stuff, but even if you’re in a committed relationship you know damn well that you sneak peeks at sexy girls whenever you think you can get away with it. It’s just natural, really. With superhotties Ashley Tisdale and Sarah Hyland posing together for some video or photoshoot, you’ll sneak a peek even if it means your wife will slap you upside your lecherous head. Posing in bikinis is sexy enough, but these two also slip into some skimpy shorts, knee-high socks, and roller skates for a bit of extra fetishy hotness. Each has something to offer, too, with Ashley Tisdale flaunting her perfect ass while “innocently” eating ice cream. Sarah Hyland, however, flaunts her little, faux jailbait body, knowing how much men lust over her teenaged character on Modern Family. Putting the two of these girls together is almost unfair!

I’ve been holding off on posting about LeAnn Rimes, but I think it’s about time to finally do so. She’s been obviously desperate for attention, realizing that she hasn’t been all that famous since the ’90s. In response, she’s lost quite a bit of weight and it appears some of it was replaced with breast implants. She’s been looking pretty damn hot lately and trying her hardest to show off as much of her tight body and cavernous cleavage as possible. In fact, now she’s decided to go out in a tiny bikini to really flaunt her body, showing off a small but round bubble-butt which I never would have expected. Mostly, I just love the shot of her husband reaching over to casually grab a big handful of country-singer ass. I’d be more amazed if he was able to restrain himself from doing so.

Rihanna may not be my favorite celebrity, but she at least knows how to get attention. When vacationing in Barbados last month, she naturally decided to hit the beach. She also decided to do so in one of the skimpiest bikinis possible, leaving little to the imagination. Not only is it unbelievably tiny, it’s also see-through, giving a nice glimpse of her dark nipples. Given the bikini’s tiny size, the bottoms not only show off Rihanna’s ass, but the narrow top also slides up to give a teasing underboob shot. Granted, we did already see her topless in Ireland a few months ago, but those images were pretty low-resolution, so these high-res pictures of Rihanna in a sheer bikini manage to be sexier even if she is wearing (a tiny bit) more.

So, what has Adrianne Curry been doing these past couple weeks? Certainly she’s been productive, perhaps getting a big modeling deal or maybe even an acting role. Or maybe she’s embraced her supposed nerd personality and begun to learn how to code video games. Nah, she’s been hanging around in bikinis, what the fuck did you expect? Try as she might to appeal to the nerd crowd with her Star Wars costumes and WoW references, she’s still just an attention whore. Don’t get me wrong, though, she’s a damned hot attention whore, which is why I’m sharing six pictures of her posing in bikinis, leather, and lingerie. With her amazing fake tits and her newly-toned (if not sculpted) body, it seems she looks better than ever each time we check in on her. Whenever the next comic convention rolls around, we’ll be sure to see pictures of her in whatever slutty, geeky costume she has made for her tight body. More pics after the jump. [...]

It’s September now and summer’s almost gone, but at least we’re still getting some hot celebrity bikini photos, such as Victoria Justice in her skimpy pink one. The barely-legal Nickelodeon star shows off in her tight bikini, flaunting not only her hot booty, but a very clear camel toe shot. This petite brunette has a perfect, little body, one that was made for bikinis. Or kinky latex outfits. Or nothing at all. But I digress; what really matters here is the sight of the 18 year old Victoria Justice wearing next-to-nothing and giving us some hot, teasing glimpses of her pussy and ass beneath her bikini bottoms which hug her like a second skin. Nothing says summer better than teen girls giving horny guys a view of everything, so make sure to enjoy these pics while they last. Or hope that they do their bikini thing in the sunny southern hemisphere once fall and winter hit us here in the northern half.

Remember that movie Swordfish where Halle Berry flashed her tits? Yeah, that was 10 years ago. And a terrible movie. 10 years later, though, Halle Berry (and her breasts) are still looking just as fantastic. She turned 45 yesterday, so once again I find myself posting a sexy cougar for you to enjoy. Like the others, age isn’t really an issue for her either. She clearly keeps her body in fantastic shape, as you can tell by her flat stomach and toned arms. But you’re staring at her tits, and I don’t blame you. Going for a sexy little halter bikini, Halle has those babies out on display; not as out on display as in Swordfish, but you can’t complain with this much cleavage or the sight of her nipples poking out against the bikini top. Now if she’ll only just celebrate the 10th anniversary of Swordfish by sunbathing topless again.

It’s been about a month since our last Miley Cyrus update, and it seems she’s been a bit busy. Not only has she been hard at work smoking cigarettes and wearing thin, semi-sheer tops through which her hard nipples are easily visible, the young siren has also been prancing around in skimpy little bikinis to show off her hot, tight body. Being famous is tough. Miley Cyrus may not be as crazy as many had suspected she’d grow to be; some “feared” that she’d practically be a porn star by the time she was 18, with her un-Disney on-stage antics. Instead, she seems to be a pretty normal celebrity girl, fond of giving teasing glimpses of her body such as hints of nipple and some nice shots of her ass. Once her celebrity status begins to dwindle, though, who knows what this fame-addicted singer will do!

Nicole “Coco” Austin is truly legendary. Not because she’s actually interesting or skilled or anything, not at all; Coco Austin is legendary because she has one big phat booty and loves to fucking show it off. Her husband, Ice-T, doesn’t seem to mind at all either, thoughtful enough to share with us to some extent. In her latest set of totally-candid-and-not-staged pics, she heads to the beach wearing what she usually does: not much of anything. You can practically hear her thin-strapped bikini top crying as it struggles to hold up her huge tits, while her bikini bottoms do absolutely nothing to cover her giant, magnificent ass. She’s an attention whore on the same level as Adrianne Curry, only Coco’s “fame” is based off her insane body rather than attempts at geek cred. Now that Coco has her own TV series, I doubt it’ll be long before she ups the ante with a sex tape!

Katie Holmes is adorable and we need more of her. Human cloning isn’t really a “thing” yet, though, so we’ll have to do with just one Katie. We are given one miracle, which is that Tom Cruise has either let her out of her cage or he’s on the floor somewhere with a gnarly head wound and Katie Holmes is enjoying her few moments of freedom (sweet freedom!) before the cops haul her in. Not only is she out and about, she’s out and about in a bikini! Her marriage with Tom Cruise has led many to believe he’s holding her back and trying to prevent her from doing anything provocative. Well, fuck that, let’s see more of this beautiful brunette in skimpy bikinis. Or maybe latex slut-wear. I’d continue, but it’ll just end with fantasies of cute Katie Holmes working some seedy strip club for a few bucks while Tom Cruise cries in the corner. Don’t judge me!