Dirty Mag

I’ve had a thing for dyed redheads since I was in high school (Shirley Manson…) and the only thing better than that is a dyed redhead with big fake tits. Enter Amy Childs. She’s another of those reality TV stars who become classed as “celebrities” because they’ve been on TV. Which of course leads to shows like Celebrity Big Brother and Celebrity Weight Loss Dance Idol Apprentice. Did I mention that she also has a fucking amazing body? Here are some photos of Amy Childs in a too-small (just-right) bikini. Her boobs are obviously fake, but in a good way, making her look like a hot porn star. Despite that, I couldn’t find any topless photos, though there is one wide some sideboob and bare ass. I actually find the slutty bikini pictures to be much sexier, but damn; if there’s a “celebrity” who should do a sex tape, it’s Amy Childs.

I don’t think there’s such a thing as posting too many tits, but there is such a thing as not posting enough ass. If you haven’t been paying attention (not that you should), Amanda Bynes has been having some sort of meltdown, one which we have been able to see quite well from her posts on Twitter. Most recently, she has been arrested, which probably doesn’t interest you. What you should find intriguing is that Amanda Bynes supposedly claims to be modeling her “new style” after some stripper who goes by Blac Chyna. Maybe she’s also popular on Twitter? I dunno, but what I do know is that Blac Chyna’s ass puts Nicki Minaj’s and Coco’s to shame. It’s almost like this girl’s booty has a booty of its own. I’m really hoping Amanda Bynes gets through all of her legal troubles, if only so she has money to spend on getting a huge, matching ass rather than spending it on legal fees. That would be the real crime.

And just like that, it’s back to big fake tits. Coco Austin has one of the most ridiculous(ly sexy) bodies of any celeb, with a very shapely hourglass figure. Her tits are always great to look at, especially like this where they’re barely covered by her trashy-hot bikini. But it’s her ass that always gets the most attention, probably because those wide hips of hers practically demand attention. She’s one of those women who seems to just be designed to make a bikini look as sexual as possible. But I suppose I could say that about any outfit that Coco tries on. It’s a tremendous superpower, really, though it seems that she uses hers for good, given how often she tweets photos of her cleavage and ass for millions of people around the world. She’s like Power Girl without any of the other actual powers.

We’re only about a week away from 4/20 so how about a hot bikini celeb named Lauren Stoner? Yeah, she’s a reality TV star of some sort. I don’t know if she’s a real housewife from some county, an apprentice, or a next top model, though. Whatever the case, I hope it’s something that’s filmed on the beach because her body is definitely made for it. In these photos, she poses in a sexy little bikini, which shows off her equally sexy little body. And while she looks more or less like your average hot bikini model, the shots from the back show that she definitely has more of an ass than you’ll find on the usual skinny model. I think if we were to combine that tight, round ass with Kate Upton’s tits, we’d really be onto something! Could science hold the answer to the question of the ultimate bikini babe?

Selena Gomez is hot no matter what she’s doing, to the point where you could just have a daily blog of hot photos of her. This one’s extra worthy of note, though, because she seems intent on showing off as much leg as possible without being naked. First off, she ditched a skirt right out, because as sexy as skirts are, there are more revealing options. I’m not sure what to call what she’s wearing, but it’s basically like a dress styled as a one-piece swimsuit. And somehow knowing that it’s being worn as normal clothing instead of beachwear makes it hotter as well. Much like a swimsuit or a pair of skin-tight daisy dukes, this outfit rides up to show off every inch of her legs as well as the lower curves of her hot, tight ass. In a matter of time, women will wear outfits which cover no more than a bikini does. And in a bright future beyond that, a bra is considered a trenchcoat.

It’s the end of the month and that means… well, I’m not sure. How about some more Miley Cyrus? The short-haired songstress is once again flaunting the fact that she doesn’t give a fuck, doing some beach yoga to once again put her body on display. And really, with this sort of prancing, she almost seems like a male bird trying to find a mate. The haircut, of course, only adds to the illusion. Her bird songs aren’t as appealing as her body, though, which is still looking incredible, no doubt due to the fact that she seems to always be doing fucking yoga or pilates or something. If you like your girls to look somewhat androgynous yet still obviously female, you can’t really go wrong with Miley Cyrus. I’d make a Justin Bieber joke to go along with that, but I’m above all that. (He totes looks like a girl, though, doesn’t he?!)

I had the option of putting up some more Nicki Minaj or Random Victoria’s Secret Angel photos today, but I can pretty much guarantee you’ll see much more of those this year. However, I did run across some photos of Vida Guerra, who was pretty popular some years ago due to her magnificent ass, but must have been bumped out of the spotlight when Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj’s wide hips hit the scene. Fear not, however, for Vida Guerra’s ass is still a thing of wonders, and she makes sure to let us all know by wearing a pair of dark, skin-tight jeans which show off every curve of her sexy Cuban derrierre. Frankly, you should all feel guilty for not giving this curvy, 38-year-old bombshell some more attention! One reality show is all it would have taken, and then she’d no doubt be posting daily pictures of her ass on Twitter just like Coco.

Rihanna’s naked again, which probably isn’t very surprising, but it’s at least a welcome treat. She’s already had countless nude photos, nipple slips, and other awesome photographic evidence of her hotness, so she might as well give us more! She seems well-aware that pictures are being taken of her nude ass in these shots, appearing as if she’s looking directly at the camera. Hell, Rihanna’s even thoughtful enough to turn around, ensuring we not only get a nice close-up of her round ass, but also a great view of her perky titties. Given how much time she’s spending at beaches near or below the equator for the winter, I have a feeling we’ll see more of her in and out of tiny bikinis for the next few months. Or perhaps for all of 2013 in general. Now she just needs to invite Nicki Minaj and Cassie along for the fun!

Fucking hell, I’m beginning to think that Jennifer Nicole Lee is a total cocktease. I’ve seen even more pictures of her lately, hardly surprising given that it’s summer and she has even more reason to go out in skimpy bikinis. She’s famous for losing a bunch of weight and becoming a fitness guru, and she seems to seriously be living up every second of having a goddess-like body. She’s also obviously enjoying putting that body to use by turning men into desperate, drooling messes. That’s the only explanation for these pictures, which don’t seem to have any other logical explanation. She turns around to teasingly remove her bikini top, just barely hiding her breasts from view, while flashing her bikini-clad ass for the follow-up. Given that the purpose of this seems to be covering her breasts with a towel, it’s obvious that this is intentional and that she gets a kick out of teasing all the horny men who lust over her fantastically-fit body.

Alec Baldwin is awesome. This is something you should already know, but what you might not know is that he’s engaged to a dark-haired hottie by the name of Hilaria Thomas, who’s only slightly more than half his age. She’s also a yoga instructor. Did I mention that Alec Baldwin is awesome? This woman is absolutely stunning, and one look at her body should make it obvious why all women should do yoga. There’s already a growing fetish out there regarding women in skin-tight yoga pants, but Hilaria Thomas manages to look just as amazing without wearing them. In these photos, her dress rides up to show off her bare ass. Her amazing, perky, bare ass. This tight booty doesn’t need form-fitting lycra to make it look round and pert, since years of yoga have already toned her body to perfection. I think that if she really wants to boost business at her yoga studio, all she needs to do is post these photos of her naked ass and let women know that they too could have a booty like that. And that’s not even getting into the flexibility benefits!