Dirty Mag

What do you know about Paraguay? That’s right. Nothing. And you should feel ashamed of yourself, because that also means not knowing about Larissa Riquelme. The Paraguayan model is best known for her appearance as a fan at the 2010 World Cup. Wearing a low-cut dress in Paraguay colors, she showed off an insanely sexy amount of South American cleavage, her cell phone nestled luckily between those big tits. You can see one of the pictures above and realize in a split-second why she became popular after this. More recently, she’s decided to pose nude for the aptly named Sexy magazine, so here are two incredible samples. After blue-balling men around the world with her teasing cleavage photos, it’s wonderful to see her eagerly stripping down to let everyone enjoy her big tits, round ass, and shaved pussy. Now when someone asks you about Paraguay, you can say the country is awesome if only because of Larissa Riquelme.

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No, I’m not creating a sexy Frankenstein monster. I wanted to post this picture of Kim Kardashian and her big tits, apparently an unreleased photo from her earlier Playboy photo shoot. And, well, here it is! Kim and her huge bouncy titties for you to enjoy, only to be reminded that she’s apparently fucking Kanye West now, to put you back into misery. Since one picture isn’t enough to bring you out of that rut, I added two more unrelated ones. The first features our favorite jailbait attention whore, Courtney Stodden, out showing off her fake tits and undeniably sexy bimbo body at the grocery store. The 17 year old bride totally knows how rocking her surgically-enhanced body is, and those legs just go on for fucking days. That’s enough to wash the taste of Kanye West out of your mouth, right? Oh, geez, poor choice of words. Let me apologize with one last photo, of Mila Kunis’ ass. Petite girls like this always look fucking sexy in yoga pants so, tada, Mila Kunis in yoga pants, which cling to her little booty like a second goddamn skin. Oh, also, rumor has it that she’s banging Ashton Kutcher. Aw, hell, I did it again; I’m bad at this.

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Lake Bell has been featured here a few times now, and for good reason. There aren’t many celebrities who have seriously big tits, beyond a D-cup or so. Even fewer are those willing to bare them in front of the camera, which is a damn shame. I’m all for small, perky tits as well, but it can be tragic when those are the only ones that are shown in the naked. Lake Bell is a goddamn superhero, though, a woman with the most magnificent D+ cup tits out there and who’s all too willing to show them off to her fans. In her most recent photoshoot for Esquire magazine, she was likely dismayed to find out she couldn’t casually flash the goods on their pages, but that didn’t stop her from coming close. In a couple pictures, she wears a thin crop top beneath which her hard nipples poke through like crazy. And in the third I’ve uploaded, she wears a bra that can’t contain her glorious bosom, and you get a hint of areola peeking out in this near nip slip.

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So, for some reason no celebrities had wardrobe malfunctions or sex tapes leaked this weekend, which is extremely disappointing. That’s not to say there weren’t plenty of cases of these celebrities and “celebrities” attention whoring as they do best, though. I’ve picked out three of my favorites, women that many consider to be train-wrecks but who I consider to be oddly sexy. Coco is probably the most accepted of the three, as anyone who likes big tits and big ass can understand the appeal. Understandably, she showed off those assets wonderfully in a thin and super-tight top and a pair of skin-tight jeans. The nipples poking through the top are an added bonus. Next up is Nicki Minaj, who’s very much an acquired taste. I didn’t like her at first but, goddamn, her Superbass video is just too sexy. The “Black Barbie” has a similar body to Coco, but she’s even more flamboyant with her looks, opting for wild wigs and makeup. Frankly, I find it sexy. Would I date her? No. Would I fuck her? Oh sweet hell yes. Last up is what has to be the most controversial of my choices, the loud and caustic Janice Dickinson. If you’re a bit older, you know she was a model in the ’70s and ’80s. If not, and you have a girlfriend/wife (or like bad TV), you might recognize her as a former judge on America’s Next Top Model or her own show she acquired later, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. She’s loud, she’s annoying, and her skin is turning to leather, but she seems like she’d be a wildcat in the sack. So, yeah, here are three pictures from the past week of these women looking desperate for attention. Which of them, if any, are worthy of yours?

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The May 2012 issue of Allure brings back their “Look Better Naked” section, featuring a slew of sexy celebrity women getting nude. The three I decided to pick out are my personal favorites. Morena Baccarin is one I’ve made no secret about finding super hot. The MILFy, short-haired brunette was stunning (and topless!) in Homeland, and has been sexy previously in V and Firefly. Leslie Bibb has an amazing body, although she only shows one side of it in her photo. Granted, the back side is just as glorious, with her perfect posterior photographed for posterity. 38-year old Heidi Klum rounds out the trio, and she’s no stranger to taking off her clothing. The beautiful model is fully nude, barely covering her killer body with her slender arms. Really, Allure should just do this every month instead of once a year, if only as a public service. Which three celebrities would you most like to see nude?

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Emma Watson. Really, I shouldn’t have to say more than that for you to be wildly clicking the thumbnails above. I know damn well I’m not the only one obsessed with her, and that’s the way it should be. She’s obviously well aware of the effect she has on men (and, hell, women) so I have to think she jumped on whatever movie role allowed her to dress as trashy as this. After all, the normally classy Emma Watson can merely say, “Oh, it’s just for a movie,” although I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a Brazzers movie given her slutty little outfit. Strappy heels and little denim shorts are maddening enough, allowing Emma to flaunt her incredible legs, but she takes it even further with a barely-closed leather jacket concealing nothing but a bra beneath. Oh, is this not trashy-hot enough for you? Then look at the picture where she’s bending over and showing off her tramp stamp tattoo. Yeah, it’s just a temporary one for the movie, but a man can dream. In fact, I think I’ll finally submit that screenplay of mine, “The Corruption of Hermione“.

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House, the medical drama, is finally ending but one of the best things about the series was Lisa Cuddy. Yup, it’s time for another MILF celebrity post, this time about Lisa Edelstein, who plays the sexy and oft-beskirted Dr. Cuddy. Whether she’s wearing a tight blouse, tight skirt, or tight dress, she’s always looking damn hot and cougartastic. Oh, and did I mention the legs? Because along with those skirts, she sure loves the stockings and heels. She’s pretty much your ‘sexy boss’ fantasies come true. And now she’s gone and done the Hollywood thing of posing nude for PeTA. As much as I hate PeTA, I have to commend them for convincing so many beautiful celebrities to strip down for the cause. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the reason they stick with it themselves, in fact. But yeah, those legs, that ass, and everything else; it’s a sexy, pin-up-like nude of Lisa Edelstein. I’ve also included a couple of the very fan service-y screencaps from that episode of House where he fantasizes about her doing a strip tease in a slutty schoolgirl uniform.

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Nicole Scherzinger seems to get all the attention, but one has to remember that there are many other Pussycat Dolls, past and present. Another of the past members worth noting is the beautiful, Black/Mexican Melody Thornton. Like the other members of the group, she has an incredible body, usually shown off in minidresses and kinky boots. However, that doesn’t seem to have been enough for her, judging by her latest public appearance. While she ditches the slutty boots and goes for a full-length dress, Melody Thornton instead opts for a sheer dress because, hey, why the hell not? You can easily see her breasts and nipples through the thin fabric and it becomes clear why she’d dare to go sheer: she has an incredibly beautiful rack. Those handful-sized breasts are right there for anyone to ogle and she gives not one single fuck. The fact that the lighter-colored streak in her hair reminds me of the X-Men’s Rogue only makes this exhibitionist Pussycat Doll that much sexier.

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Phoebe Price is so not a household name, but after seeing some other pictures of this vibrant redhead, I’m sure you’ll appreciate these D-list celebrity tits nonetheless! With roles as exciting as “Customer with Car (uncredited)” and “Window Shopper (uncredited)” I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t heard of her! Judging by the photos and her lack of real fame, I imagine this may not be an accidental nipple slip, but I’ll take any nipslip where I can get it, dammit. It’s also possible she’s not a real person, but actually a plastic surgeon’s living creation, molded out of silicone and collagen. This busty and very-red redhead has an age which varies from 29-38, but she definitely looks more on the MILFtastic end of the scale. Seriously, though, if you like busty, freckled redheads that aren’t Lindsay Lohan, enjoy these images of Phoebe Price and her big tits slipping out of her bikini.

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Just the other day I was wondering if I should post about Miley Cyrus and her Little Black Dresses she’s been wearing, but now that waiting has paid off with her recent upskirt! She continues to push the naughtiness envelope, often seen wearing clothing that is skimpier or tighter than people expect from her. She’s recently begun attending pilates classes while wearing a sexy and very tight “Little Black Dress”. Miley Cyrus is obviously proud of her toned little body, and you can just look above to see how tight her miniature hourglass figure is. Even better, though, is that when girls wear minidresses like these, moving around is difficult, especially getting into a car. This difficulty means that we get a rare Miley Cyrus upskirt shot, and without panties! The first picture above gives you a glimpse up her dress to see that she appears to keep her pussy shaved smooth. Maybe for her next pilates class, she’ll just go with a clear latex dress and stripper heels.

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