Dirty Mag

Anyone who thinks that Sylvester Stallone is just about boxing and blood, guts, and gore, then you’d be wrong. It turns out that Mr. Stallone actually has a pretty funny side – and he proves it with this sex tape that’s just fucking hilarious! If you’re thinking that’s not him in the video, I thought the same thing. But it is him back in the early 1980s when he had this video filmed.

Sorry, there is no actual fucking in the video, even though Stallone does act out his ultimate fantasy. And not even a tittie, pussy, or cock to speak of. But, even though the beginning seems so, so lame, it ends well…for us anyway. This is definitely going at the top of my list of my very favorite sex tapes. Check it out here and give yourself your laugh for the day!

Sylvester may have another, real sex tape out there, by the looks of these pics. One that doesn’t involve anyone crapping in their pants. Stallone apparently made his name first as a porn star before he made it big with Rocky.

Meg White, the drummer and back-up singer from the White Stripes, –is hot. She has the classic good girl, cutesy face, and seems like a nice person. But one thing she does not have going for her, is her recent sex tape. If it is even her, –sources are divided about 50-50 that it either is, or isn’t her. Meg White is seen, if it is her, having sex with a total doofus who reminds me of Lennie Small from Of Mice and Men. With luck, the goofy looking guy doesn’t seem to mind doing all the work.

That’s right guys, if you were hoping the rocker-chick had moves, you were wrong. Meg appears to be a mute, inanimate doll. So if you like your girls to pretend to be dead, then stand in line behind George and Lennie, and wait your turn.

..and the gentlemen too. Not only did she appear in a celebrity sex tape with the other Miss Universe contestant, Anya Ayoung-Chee, but they kept on making them, –there are four sex tapes featuring Hiroko Mima and Anya Ayoung-Chee screwing a variety of people, and each other. The guys these two hotties are fucking are completely undeserving guys, and I can’t help but feel a little bit brokenhearted and jealous about the whole thing. Where was I when the sex crazed beauty queens were in town, picking up random people to fuck?

Hiroko Mima didn’t get to have as much sex, –for some reason, her tits look incredibly tiny compared to Anya’s in the video. But all her pictures show Hiroko as having at least some semblance of cleavage. Oh well, thus, the padded bra.

All right, all right, I know I was pushing it with the movie reference, but who the hell names their kid Wanda anymore? Every time I hear ‘Wanda’ as a name, I think of the movie. Which I never even finished watching, I passed out about 30 minutes into it.  Anyway, Wanda Nara is incredibly hot, aside from the stupid name, and looks even more adorable with her tongue wrapped around a dick. Wanda started out as an Argentinian model, with the most beautiful ass ever to be molded by the hands of god, and while she wasn’t really famous before, she sure as hell is now.

Though I doubt god gave her the talent she displays in this video, he sure did great with the rest of her. Nara joins the long line of Latino celebrities appearing in sex tapes with a poor addition, –a shadowy blow job in the dark. Still, we’ll take what we can get.

Janet Jackson doesn’t do anything half-assed, and that includes sunbathing! When Janet wants to get in some serious sun time, she strips down and bares it all. Well, at least she did it once way back in 2005. But some paparazzi got the 40 seconds of Janet’s basking all on tape – and she’s completely oblivious! In the 40-second video which you can see here, Janet is seen completely naked, rolling around, and be-boppin’ to some music. Watching the video, you definitely get several great shots of Janet’s boobs but, the pussy shots are a little harder to catch. I’m just glad that even if you’re a Jackson, your boobs still sag when you bend over bra-less.

I don’t think that you can even call Cameron Diaz’s sex tape an actual sex tape. Yes, she’s topless in it or at least sort of topless in it, and there is another guy, as well as another chick just for an added bonus. But all Cameron really does is pour some champagne over her naked tits and flirt and play with the male in the video. And even though I think Cameron is super hot, this really doesn’t do anything for me.

Cameron hasn’t denied that the video is of her but she has tried to make it nearly impossible to find any movies or pictures of the video. And even though I couldn’t get my hands on the video, I did snare up some of the pics for  ya. Here are two of Cameron back in the day of her “sex tape” and one with just some perky and more recent Cameron titties.

Carrie Tucker was Miss New York in the Miss USA pageant back in 2000, and though she made it to the top ten finalists, she never did make that big of a splash. But her boyfriend certainly did when he dove into her cock-first on camera. A sex tape eventually surfaced of the starved-for-attention young girl, that made her prominent in the news for about ten minutes, before bigger and better tits stole the spotlight.

The tape itself is an exhausting half an hour of primarily blurry scenes of Tucker stripping. Personally, if I wanted to watch a stripper, at least want the full length, interactive feature that results in blue balls, and preferably to the sound of better music. Most of this is made up for by the fact that Tucker is hot, and apparently loves to play with her own pussy, –a quality to admire in any woman, –as long as she’s willing to let you play tool.

Xena: Warrior Princess, –or Zeenya, Amazon Slut, as she was referred to in our house when I was younger, is played by mega-hot, and yes, slight Amazonian Lucy Lawless. Even the name brings to mind a fierce she-bitch in the ball breaking business. Lucy Lawless now appears in the new hit show Spartacus: Blood and Sand, in which she plays Lucretia, –a man-eating she-devil who doesn’t mind the occasional tumble, with her own harem of slaves ready to shove their hands up her skirt any time.

Originally, Lawless planned to wear a merkin for her first sex scene in the show, -and for those of you who want some extra trivia, a merkin is a pubic hair wig for women. First used by prostitutes in the days of Ye Olde Crabb Infestation, –because with no lice shampoo, you had to just shave, and pick the little bastards off one at a time like ticks.  Today, they’re used for women who have modesty in the film business. Lawless admitted to having been extremely nervous at first, but eventually, got over her fears and learned to roll with the punches.

Roxana Diaz doesn’t have low standards; she has short standards. She was recently the main feature in  an incredibly graphic short film that was all about self-gratification. Diaz was filmed rubbing and fingering her own pussy while her boyfriend fucks her in the ass. Unfortunately, the tape’s high points don’t include shots of a really big dick, –which is kind of sad, since celebrity guys are often quite endowed. But the high points of the film do include close up shots of Diaz’s tits, and pussy.

Roxana Diaz’s pussy also isn’t worn out and lopsided, like some ladies I could mention. Most of the videos are apparently on a pay-0nly basis, so if you have to see it, then you’ll probably have to pay. We’ve included some stills though, just for you. If you’re wondering what she’s famous for, –aside from her pussy, –then you’re probably  reading the wrong blog, because who cares? She’s naked! But to indulge, Diaz was a Venezuelan television actress.

The dream of every man – to nail a gymnast. You many never get the chance to enjoy that first-hand but hell, at least you can watch it. Csisztu Zsuzsa is one of the most well-known gymnasts in Hungary’s history, competing at three world championships and the 1988 Olympic Games. What all that says to me is that she is nice and bendy, perfect for sex tape glory!

The video begins with her cute little self trying to be sexy by dancing and striping… then it cuts to her washing herself in a bathtub. So if you’re into wet and soapy gymnasts then double score for you! But then the bath ends, there’s more naked dancing and lots of giggling, some MC Hammer (shows you how old this clip is) and then FINALLY we get to the sex part of the sex tape. You get to see Csisztu Zsuzsa giving and receiving oral sex, doggy style, anal,  missionary, and other sexual positions – after all, she is a gymnast.