Dirty Mag

It’s easy to not like Paris Hilton and it’s even easier to make fun of her, but I’m willing to bet that many of you find her sexy despite all those things to dislike about her. No, she doesn’t deserve to be famous and she’s incredibly annoying, but damn she has an incredible body. If you like your women petite, there are few in Hollywood who pull it off quite as well as Paris Hilton, although her friend (ex-friend?) Nicole Richie is up there too. Just check out these images of her in a sexy little bikini. If you prefer big tits, sure, she’s probably not going to do much for you, but if you like tiny waists and sexy, slender legs, it’s difficult to stop staring at this billionaire’s tight little body. Don’t feel guilty; if you’re going to ogle a bitchy billionaire, better it’s Paris Hilton than, say, Rupert Murdoch.

X-Factor may just be another talent show program among many others, but it’s also a show that’s brought us Cheryl Cole and the beautiful Tulisa Contostavlos. While they aren’t enough to make me enjoy watching shows like this, they’re certainly enough to numb the pain. In the pictures above, you’ll see that Tulisa Contostavlos has a tight little body, shown off in a shimmery dress. While dropping a teasing amount of cleavage and showing off plenty of leg, her dress also gifts us with a sexy upskirt shot of the Grecian goddess. If X-Factor really wants to boost the ratings, how about removing the judges tables and just giving them chairs or stools to sit on? At least then we’ll get the occasional upskirt of Cheryl Cole or another of Ms. Contostavlos. Note to producers: Upskirt shots of Simon Cowell will (probably) not boost ratings!

Kirsten Dunst was featured here a while back for appearing nude in Melancholia, a film in which she won the Best Actress award at the Cannes film festival. This would normally be where I say something cheesy about how she’s showing off her own “Cannes” in these images, but you’d be…right. Really, what more do you want? This is Kirsten Dunst in some HD-quality screencaps from the film, showing off her big tits in a couple of the images. Not lame pseudo-sideboob or covering herself either; these are clearly images of Kirsten Dunst topless, and there’s even one image where we get a perfect view of her award-winning ass. Check out the movie Melancholia if you want to see her nude body in motion, and if you want to see what all the award fuss is about. Apparently they don’t just hand those things out because a Hollywood star strips for the film.

30 Minutes or Less doesn’t look like the best movie, but it does have at least one thing going for it: tits. After all, if you’re going to make an R-rated action-comedy you might as well throw in some nice breasts for the hell of it, and that’s exactly what was done here. These breasts in particular belong to the lovely Bianca Kajlich and indeed, they’re quite amazing. Based on the background and the fact that her character is named “Juicy” I can only assume she plays a stripper. (The fact that she’s stripping is also a minor hint toward that conclusion.) Not that Bianca Kajlich needs any justification to bare her breasts for a film, or anything else for that matter. By all means, Ms. Kajlich, continue to flaunt those perky wonders whether it be for an HBO series, a movie, a magazine, or my birthday party.

I’ve been to quite a few beaches in my time, and it’s amazing hot few hot women there are at them. Sure there are plenty of attractive ones, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen someone like British glamour model Rosie Jones casually sunbathing with her bikini top just barely covering her perfect breasts. Maybe models have their own beaches on which they can flaunt their sculpted bodies and bouncy breasts, sharing images via the wonder that is Twitter. Even if I may not be allowed to set foot on one of these mythical beaches, Rosie Jones is kind enough to share the sight of her body with the commoners. Of course, the woman’s also done some topless photo shoots before, so it’s not as if she hasn’t gifted us with her big, beautiful tits before. I’ve even included one of those pics in the photos above; see if you can find it! (Hint: It’s the one where she’s topless)

Taylor Swift is one of the most popular stars in country music today, and it definitely can’t all be about her music. The blonde star is ridiculously cute and it’s difficult not to be entranced by her, even if you hate country music. And while her sweet innocence may be entrancing, the first photo above, the topless one, is allegedly of the songstress! It’s difficult to tell for sure whether or not it’s her, but as Fox Mulder used to say years ago, “I want to believe.” With her wavy blonde hair, cute face, and tight little body, this Taylor Swift lookalike posing topless in nothing but her panties should be Ms. Swift’s next album cover. One can only hope that she pulls a Scarlett Johansson and admits that this topless cutie really is her. And then maybe she’ll release another dozen photos of her sexy little body. Maybe.

Boardwalk Empire is critically acclaimed and all, but I’m sure what you’re wondering about is whether it delivers in the tit department. I believe the correct answer is “Yes. Yes it does.” It seems that every episode of the show features one or more women showing off their hot bodies. Not just topless scenes either, as there are certainly some pussy shots too. The first example comes from an episode a week or so ago, with the lovely Heather Lind flashing an awesome pair of tits to some lucky bastard. The other two images are from the most recent episode, including a sex scene with Lisa Joyce. Not only do we get a glimpse of tit as she rides a guy cowgirl style, we even get a nice, full view of her nice, full ass. Yes, the sheer amount of regular nude and sexual content is what sets HBO and other premium channels above regular cable.

As you may have already heard, Lindsay Lohan will be posing in Playboy. Not one of those lame partial-nudity shoots either, or one where she covers her naked body with her arms. Nope, the trashy, problematic Lindsay will be going full-frontal, showing just how much she needs to pay her bills. Not that I’m against this, of course; I’ll love seeing her hot, freckled body, although you know it’s going to be Photoshopped to all hell. On the other hand, however, FleshLight has made a $1 million offer to Ms. Lohan to make a sex toy modeled after her pussy. If nothing else, it can’t be scarier than their Halloween Fleshlights. Still, for someone who’s essentially a mainstream celebrity rather than a porn star (Lisa Ann, Lupe Fuentes, and countless others have Fleshlights modeled after them) it’s got to be pretty crazy to imagine countless horny guys pumping their cocks into a silicone replica of her vagina. Which non-porn celebrity would you be most willing to buy a Fleshlight modeled after?

Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta must have had a difficult time choosing what costume to wear for Halloween. Slutty pirate, slutty ninja, slutty housewife… Those just don’t pay enough, so she apparently decided to opt for plastering her hot MILFy body with advertising. In a black bodysuit decorated with the robotic Svedka vodka girl (SVEDKA_GRL), Kim Zolciak also has the name SVEDKA in big letters along her sexy thigh. I’m not a Svedka fan, but I have to admit that choosing a sexy fembot as one’s mascot is a nice move because, well, that sentence speaks for itself. I also have to admit that the awesomeness of choosing to advertise by coaxing a sexy blonde MILF into wearing a skin-tight bodysuit that hugs her awesome curves also speaks for itself. Next time, perhaps, the wonderful people at Svedka marketing can work on a way to get Kim Kardashian into a sheer latex bodysuit. Make it happen, people!

I could do a whole blog on Salma Hayek being hot, but it’s better to space these things out. It’s like opening a present whenever there’s a post of Salma showing off her body that she no doubt obtained in a deal with the devil. Seriously. The woman’s 45 but hardly looks it, and knows damn well that she can rock her crazy hourglass figure in the tightest dresses possible. And as she struts around in this little dress, Salma Hayek has her amazing tits shoved up to flaunt enough cleavage to leave any man a whimpering, drooling mess. Having posed for countless images like these over the past 5 years after turning 40, she has to be a succubus of some kind, fueled by the lust men have for her until she drains us all dry. All in all, becoming a withered husk as a result of getting lost in Salma Hayek’s cleavage or staring at her wide hips and round ass isn’t a bad way to go, so stare on!