Dirty Mag

When I heard that Carmen Electra had a sex tape I was like – alright, she’s hot and knows how to move that fine body of hers – so I checked it out.

There was one thing missing in her sex tape, the sex.

Yea, this big supposedly “leaked” sex tape has no sex in it at all! It starts out with Carmen and some other chick giggling on a couch and guzzling booze. Boring! It eventually goes to Carmen dancing and stripping, and while her stripping is hot, it’s not what we all wanted. The two women do start kissing at some point, which is quickly followed by more stripper dancing.

Here’s how the rest of the video plays out:  more stripping (yawn) taking some dude’s belt off (snore) now she’s topless (sweet) and just when you think the good stuff is about to start, the camera gets shut off.

Lame.

Finally! Heather Graham does a movie where she is highly involved with some serious lesbian action. Her lady friend is Jaime Winestone, who personally, I don’t think too much about. But both of their tits make me want to put my head in em and do some harmonica action! (Although I may ask Jaime to remove the weird aluminum foil that’s surrounding her nips first.)

The movie is called Boogie Woogie and it just came out on April 16th. I know I’m definitely going to see this one. I just need to see how Heather boogies with a chick! I’m betting it’s too hot for words. But who needs to talk when you got girl on girl action involving Heather Graham?

Leaked photos of Victoria Secret’s angel Adriana Lima topless have hit the interwebs like a tidal wave of hotness. No one seems to know where the hell these mysterious nude photos came from, but it doesn’t really mater, because really, it’s Adiana-fucking-Lima topless, who cares about the why and where.

Unfortunately, the photos are those high contrast black and whites that are big on pop but low on detail. But hey, they’re better than nothing right? Maybe one day we will get some top quality colored photos of Adriana nude. Until then we’re stuck staring at those cute tits in black and white.

And thank god she did… Catherine Zeta Jones’ body is the last tribute to real, grown-up women, –she’s tall, she’s full figured with real tits, and a real ass, and wide, gorgeous hips. Looking at Catherine Zeta Jones naked is like a trip back in time, back to when the supermodels were grownups, and their bra sizes were slightly larger than double-A’s. Allure did a full photo-spread of Jones, –now if only they could get Playboy on-board.

The hot weather is coming and whether these ladies are taking it all off to go completely nude, or just coming nearly there with an itty bitty bikini, they are taking it off! This week we have hotties like Catherine Zeta Jones, and AnnaLynne McCord (who’s pussy is just shy of peeking out, by the way), and even whole celebrity naked photo shoot from Allure.

Catherine Zeta Jones is always so hot…especially when she’s completely naked! [Drunken Stepfather]

Ashley Dupre is back in the news as she gives us plenty to ogle over in Playboy. And you know a former escort is going to how some deliciousness to show us! [Nudography]

AnnaLynne McCord is like all other girls that have played a part on 90210: crazy hot and desperate for attention. Well, maybe all the other girls is a stretch but whenever there’s a camera on Anna, she totally plays it up and strikes all kinds of “I’m such a hot bitch” poses. Whatever. She is a hot bitch. And yes, if you look really, really close, there’s a tiny almost-peek of Anna’s vag. [Egotastic]

We just don’t see enough of Kate Hudson anymore do we? She’s certainly given us enough to look at in these new bikini pics though! [The Superficial]

Saving the best for last, we have a whack of hot celebrity pussy that decided to strip down for Allure magazine. One of my faves in the bunch is Kara DioGuardi but it’s unfortunate that she teased us by covering up her best parts. There’s something about Kara though. It’s like she really wants to get nude, but there’s just something stopping her. Do it, Kara. Just do it. [She's So Crazy]

Dita Von Teese is the world famous burlesque  artist and model that gained a big chunk of fame when she was married to Marilyn Manson. After their breakup she didn’t fade away like others would have, oh no, instead she did Playboy, runway shows,  and a couple porn flicks.

The Queen of Burlesque has been in quite a few porn videos, and looks absolutely flawless in each. So far my favorite is the one of her and another sexy woman fucking each other with a double ended dildo. Dita Von Teese sure knows how to move those hips, and my god does she look fantastic in a corset. I highly recommend checking her tapes out.

Kim Kardashian is just begging to take her clothes off! And I have to say, while I’m not a fan of Kim Kardashian as a person, these shots in Bazaar are crazy hot. She’s lying on her side, completely naked with that whole, “Oh, I’m just sitting here with my pussy and titties hanging out thinking about the meaning of life” kind of look. It’s definitely no “come hither” and I still bet my bottom dollar that Kimmie had a boob job but, she looks great regardless! If I had any complaints about it, it would be that we didn’t get more than just the one pose. It’s great and all but seriously, you can’t leave us hangin like that.

Just the pics of Kim completely naked are from Bazaar. I just happened to come across the other one, and now am left wondering, “What is that picture from?” I’m definitely going to need to track down the set from that photo shoot because, that’s super hot too!

Instead of going into mourning after the death of her girlfriend Casey Johnson, Tila Tequila choose to deal with her pain in a whole other way – she went to the strip club.

But she didn’t go there to watch, she went there to strip  (and to play with the other strippers of course). As the photos show, the 28-years-old blonde, wearing tiny black lingerie, rode the pole for a bit while the other girls danced around her. The really wild thing is that Tila didn’t just do this for fun, she did it for money, a whole lot of it. And man, if I had all that money, I’d probably roll around in it half naked too.

Before she even tried to be a Bunny, Kate Gosselin has been rejected by Playboy. Kate didn’t actually try to land a part as a smiling blonde bombshell on Hugh Hefner’s lap, but Hef made his opinion on the mother of eight quite clear. Not only might Kate not have the kind of curves that Hugh is looking for, but Hugh doesn’t even know exactly why she’s famous. From National Ledger,

“Kate Gosselin, the mother of eight made famous by a TLC reality show and her kids, gets a thumbs down from boss Hugh Hefner. According to “The Frisky,” (via CNN) Hef said: “No! No!” when asked about Kate.

The report notes that the boss also added insult to injury by suggesting he doesn’t even know why she’s on “Dancing with the Stars.” He explained, “I don’t think she’s a celebrity.”

Ah, I’ve always loved Hugh and now he gives me another reason why: he hates Kate Gosselin as much as I do. And can you imagine how fugly those pussy and tit shots would be? Ew! After eight kids have sucked on them and God only knows what has come out of her. No, that one’s not going to turn anyone on at all.

Since the only semi-naked pics we could get of Kate involved her grotesquely distorted stomach while she was pregnant with six children. The best we could do was some bikini pics which some very loosely call MILF pics. I don’t know. I can’t get the image of six kids flyin out of that thing. And that sort of ruins it for me.

Big news for those of you into the mature porno movie scene! And, a helpful precaution to the rest of the people in the world who prefer women who don’t remove their teeth before blowing a guy. They are making a Golden Girls porno, –they being the New Sensation film production company. The idea is to make an ‘All MILF’ parody, and I guess spoof the Golden Girls with the ‘hottest MILFs” out there today; Lisa Ann, Puma Suede, Julia Ann and Diamond Foxxx. Not really my thing, but still, some of these ladies haven’t yet passed their expiration date.