Dirty Mag

I’d practically forgotten that Charlize Theron existed, aside from the fun trivia fact that she was born in South Africa. Sure, she was super popular for a while (and won an Oscar!), but then Aeon Flux happened and…yeah. But this year she’s going to be in Prometheus and Snow White and the Huntsman, the latter of which she’s pimping out in these hot photos. Aeon Flux may have nearly killed her career, but thankfully that hasn’t stopped her from wearing tight black clothing. The stunning blonde decided that a skin-tight leather dress was perfect to wear to the premiere of her new film and, y’know what, she was absolutely correct. She looks astonishingly sexy, and as leggy as ever, with the added bonus of appealing to any of you leather fetishists out there. Besides, there are few things as sexy as a leggy blonde in black clothing and red lipstick. Oh, and did I mention she’s pushing 40? Because I sure as hell couldn’t tell.

Hayden Panettiere doesn’t get enough mention on this site, probably because she’s just not as interesting ever since she turned 18. But hey, she still looks like a teen with her short and skinny body, and these recent Hawaii bikini photos make her look like the jailbait cocktease we all knew and loved in Heroes. No, it’s no cheerleading uniform, but it’s a step up from the weird-ass outfits she often decides to wear. The bikini is skimpy and simple, and really reminds us why we found her so hot in the first place. She has small perky breasts which offer a surprising amount of cleavage, and her thighs are just awesome. And with a great shot of her bending over, the bikini bottoms do just about nothing to cover her round, faux-jailbait booty. Hayden Panettiere’s sexy little body deserves to be shown off more often, so maybe she should just stay in Hawaii and stay in bikinis.

So The Avengers is out and doing awesome, so you can go see Scarlett Johansson in her tight Black Widow costume, and enjoy yourself. But not like that. At least not in the theater. Or you can buy yourself a copy of Avengers XXX, the porn parody of the movie. What really cracks me up is how this film has a better Avengers cast than the actual movie. Sure, we have all the same ones, but also the addition of Spider-Man. And, since this is a porno, it can’t be a total sausage fest, so there are a lot more of the female members we know and love: Spider-Woman, Ms. Marvel, She Hulk, Scarlet Witch, and of course Black Widow. And did I mention She-Hulk is played by wrestler-turned-porn-star Chyna? Not my thing, personally, but Jenna Presley as Spider-Woman means I’ve gotta check this out for myself. And really, when we see these comic book women in their tight superhero outfits, what we really want to see is them fucking and sucking both in and out of costume. So now your comic book/cosplay fantasies can come true.

At this rate, it’s beginning to feel that I’m writing for a Micaela Schaefer fan blog. Honestly, there are much worse fates. This stunning and shameless German model has been featured here before for wearing skimpy and slutty little outfits on the red carpet. More importantly, she has one of the most incredible bodies I’ve ever seen, meaning that she can wear whatever the fuck she wants and get away with it. For the German premiere of Men in Black 3, it looks as if she’s wearing a dress made out of the tape from VHS cartridges. It’s cheap, it’s tacky, it’s ridiculous, and by God is it fucking sexy. With her big and perky fake tits and her round ass on a perfectly toned body, the stringy dress tries and fails to cover those curves. So you’ll have no trouble enjoying the mountains of Micaela Schaefer sideboob, nipple slips, and ass flashing in these photos.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow! So make sure you do something nice for her, assuming you can. Tonight, though, is all about what you want, and what you want are mother/daughter celebrity nude scenes. Why? Because you’re an awesome pervert, that’s why! Mr. Skin caters perfectly to us, offering the most extensive archive of pictures and videos featuring nude celebrities. They’ve set up a 38-video playlist (one of many playlists) centered around mothers and daughters getting naked on camera. See Goldie Hawn‘s nude scene alongside Kate Hudson‘s, for example. Or Janet Leigh and her daughter Jamie Lee Curtis. Rosanna and Patricia Arquette both had steamy scenes, and the same can be said for Zoe Kravitz and her mother Lisa Bonet! Creative sets of nude content ar what Mr. Skin does best, so sign up for free today and get a good glimpse of all the high quality celebrity videos available to members!

I love Shauna Sand, just because she’s so easy to figure out. Her “thing” seems to be looking like a smoking-hot bimbo Barbie and prancing around beaches in 6″ lucite heels. I can respect that. And jack off to that. But really, wearing skimpy bikinis and stripper heels is one thing, but she’s taken it more than a few steps further with these new photos of her at St. Bart’s. She clearly has no problems fucking in public, pressing her big fake tits against this guy as she grinds down against his cock, right there on the beach. Seeing Shauna Sand wrap those skinny long legs around him while getting deep-dicked is hot, but it’s even more wonderful to see her bent over sucking his cock like a pro. There’s something seriously hot about seeing a celebrity or “celebrity” with her mouth around a hard dick, captured on film.

I suppose it’s time I mention Spring Breakers, the film starring Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, and two other pieces of fictional jailbait. Actually, I think they’re playing college-aged girls, for once, despite the fact that both could still pass for high school cockteases. The film is directed by Harmony Korine, who wrote the bleak and graphic film Kids back in 1995. Given that Selena Gomez has warned her young fans not to see this movie, one can only imagine Spring Breakers will be just as dark and twisted. However, all the stills and all the production shots I’ve seen of this film feature Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez in skimpy bikinis. Or, when not in skimpy bikinis, they’re at least parading around in short shorts. Whether this film turns out to be cheesecake or a dark spiral, you can at least be sure to enjoy seeing these two teen-looking celebrities baring their bikini bodies and sexy legs.

The Avengers it out and it’s awesome, so I think it’s about time to revisit the fact that Scarlett Johansson had nude photographs of her killer body leaked onto the Internet. As you know, she dons a red wig and skin-tight outfit to play Black Widow in The Avengers, whereas in these pictures she dons nothing, leaving her tits and ass bared to the camera. Sadly, the tit shot isn’t the best, leading me to believe that her breasts just aren’t as amazing as they look in her tight, push-up dresses she’s always wearing. But goddamn, does she have a super-fine ass. It’s a wonder that she doesn’t show that thing off as much as possible. Your breasts are old-hat, Scarlett; start putting on the bandage dresses like Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or opt for some yoga pants a la Mila Kunis. Because that ass is truly super-heroic.

Everyone loves Sofia Vergara so it’s not as if I have to convince you to look at these pics. And, really, if you need to be convinced to look at a sexy celebrity’s tits, then shame on you; I expect you readers to be better perverts than that. Hell, I’d check out nude photos of Rumer Willis just to prove I can, goddammit. GQ Mexico seems to be a step above GQ USA in that they’re able to not only convince Sofia Vergara to wear a sheer top, but they’re also willing to publish the photos of her big tits and sexy nipples right there in the magazine as if it weren’t even a thing. I can only imagine the handwringing that would go on here in America over publishing something like this in a non-porno mag. And while I already think Sofia Vergara is one of the hottest MILFs alive, she hammers the point home on the cover by wearing animal print lingerie like a true cougar.

Jessica Marais is an Australian beauty currently starring on Starz’ drama Magic City. It’s another show banking off Mad Men by being set in the late 50′s, but so what? It has tits and that’s all that should matter. For those of you who’ve known of Jessica Marais before her appearance on this show, you likely recognize her as a blonde, although she goes full sultry-brunette for this series and it’s damn hot. Of course, I don’t know if it’s the dark hair that makes her sexy or the simple fact that she’s baring her tits in these screencaps from one of the episodes. Big and perky, I have a feeling these breasts will be in the running for Best Breasts of 2012. They look like they’re probably implants, but if they were shoved in your face, I guarantee you’d be happy as a goddamn clam.