Dirty Mag

We’re happy to report, that despite the whole giving birth thing, Miranda Kerr’s tits are still pretty good looking, –and she doesn’t have a lot of saggy bits either. Of course, we all know that these pictures have been Photoshopped into the realms of insanity, –but, she still looks pretty good. Her tits haven’t gotten any bigger, and as a female, I demand to know ho this was accomplished. Generally, tits post-preggers, swell up pretty huge. She looks like she could maybe wear a C-cup, and still probably stuffs it. Oh well, I’m happy with the result so far.

Renee Olstead doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of big film or television credits, –in fact, most of her popularity comes from her regular appearances on The Secret Life of an American Teenager, –on which she plays one of Amy Juergens’s best friends, Madison Copperstein. Amy’s the pregnant one. Madison is the annoying friend who never shuts up; and according to the source of these photos, this is definitely her. I’m still open for interpretation, –some sources say this is just a look alike, but if so, then Olstead should give her a job as an impersonator. In the photos, Olstead is showing off tits, ass, and even using her vibrator on her pussy right in front of the camera. Someone taught this girl how to properly use a camera, for sure. Check out Egotastic for the rest of the pics.

You can find the rest of these cuties here, but I’ve picked my three favorites in the gallery above; there are many more well-known girls in the list of photographically altered pin-ups, but these were just my favorites. I added Brittany Murphy as a sort of memorial; we miss you, sexy lady! I love the old school vintage erotica, –the submissive “I can suck your dick and bake a cake from scratch… at the same time!” look, does it for me. Maybe not quite as much as Betty Page, Bondage Queen, but that’s okay too. I think that the next big Photoshop project for the creator of this project ought to be transforming the current stars into Betty Page bondage pin-ups. Now that would be far hotter.

Yeah yeah, pretty soon the baby bird is going to fly from the nest, bare her boobs on the beach, and eventually, land smack in the middle of a porno with the Bieber. Which I would probably pay to see, assuming all the participants are 18 and up, of course. In these shots, Selena Gomez is strutting her stuff in see-through clothes, –apparently she didn’t get the memo from Lady Gaga’s copyright lawyers about slutty sheer clothes. Oh well. If Selena insists on dressing like a cheap escort and running around with the biggest tool in the music world, then I guess that’s her problem. Meanwhile, she should set up an appointment for her first topless photo shoot, –come on Gomez, it’ll get you popular fast, like, Tila Tequila popular, dude.

I love Megan Fox’s tits… she has one of the best racks in Hollywood, and I could honestly not be prevailed upon whatsoever, to give a shit as to whether or not her hotness is affected by her inability to act. To be fair though, this is because I really can’t see how her acting is any worse than the acting of anyone else her age in that carer. Are they trying to say Kristen Stewart is like, the Julia Robert of her generation, while Megan Fox, much hotter, much more talented, is going to be labeled the D-lister? I think not. Plus, Fox knows how to keep us interested without being a total whore, –if her sex tape ever does come out, only then can we let her gradually fade from the limelight. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon; Fox is one of the rare women who are fully aware of their own magnetism and how to best use it to their advantage.

Amanda Seyfried’s role as Little Red has her on everyone’s radar right now, including Elle and GQ; they’ve managed to get some gorgeous shots of Seyfried. The one with the goose is kind of weird, but she looks terribly cute with her hair… and her bird. Believe it or not, at only 25, she’s already been told she needs Botox injections. Wow. Well, if she’s going to start getting plastic surgery she might as well start young, that way by the time she’s 30, she can be a proper Bride of Frankenstein. Nothing hotter than a woman with scarred tits, a Michael Jackson nose, and the fat from her ass injected into her lips.

Seriously… seriously. This woman’s ass is constantly showing. If I see one more photograph of Stephanie Seymour in a bikini, I’ll puke from sheer ass-shot sensory overload. We’ve compiled a small gallery of our favorites out of Seymour’s ridiculously huge collection of bikini pics, (on what is apparently her new fan site) in the hopes that one day, the woman will learn to put her clothes on. At least she’s not still playing grabass with her own kid, but I think that maybe playing around on the beach, and constantly showing off her nipples, tits, and the ass that’s always eating her bikini, to photographers, while on the beach -with- her kids, may be a slightly unethical way to wheedle her body back into the publicity zone. Sorry, lady, you’re just getting too old. If you want to be popular again, make a porno, and for god’s sake, leave your kids at home when you do it!

Tericka Dye aka Rikki Andersin, is apparently not allowed to ever have any other occupation other than fucktoy. This really pisses me off, because it clearly indicates that despite the thousands of years of evolution, human beings are still animals. Porn stars, fucktoys, and sluts, are people too, and if you can’t step away from Victorian era labels and prejudices, then that’s your problem. Believe it or not parents, the teachers that currently work in your schools, probably go home and fuck their spouses. That’s right, people who have sex come into contact with your kids every day! Gasp! The former porn star shouldn’t be socially lynched for letting the country watch, –if anything, she ought to be congratulated for being so talented, and so persevering, –she used the funds to get through college and better her life. She also served the shitty country that, despite her career change, continues screwing her in the ass. Rikki Anderson, we love porn stars here, and firmly believe you should be able to live your life any god damn way you please. Thou shalt have no shame in thy game, sister sinner!

Poor Gwen Stefani; it must be hard for her to acknowledge the fact that her stepdaughter is about a thousand times hotter than she is. Not to mention, much further down on the ‘sell-out scale’. Daisy Lowe appeared in GQ in order to show off her many assets, and in my opinion, this was a proper plan. Her ass looks terrific, and I’ve always been turned on by old school lingerie. I love garters and corsets, with stockings. With the addition of a drum set, she’s a regular rockin’ Victorian tramp. Tres hot.

AHAHAHAHA! Nickelodeon not panning out for you anymore? Sorry guys, I can’t help but bask in the humiliation of another, sometimes, and it’s definitely based on sheer sexual interest. How long before Bynes starts hiring herself out as a sex toy? I’m gonna set up a savings account, and start collecting dog  collars for her. If she’s willing to show off her cleavage and thighs on Twitter, in crappy too dark/overexposed cell phone quality pictures, then she’s inches away from career collapse. Bynes clearly needs to call Lindsay Lohan for some tips on properly flaunting her pussy in order to get movie roles and media attention.