Dirty Mag

Ha, somehow I doubt it; I mean, if anything that’s an insult to Kate Moss. She might look like a starving little Ethiopian boy with rickets, but there was a time when she looked pretty decent, and she doesn’t deserve the ridicule that comes along with being sexually associated with Courtney Love. In an interview with Hot Press mag, she not only spews the horrifying details about her sexual encounter with Kate Moss, but also with Gavin Rossdale, –who was actually supposed to be with Gwen Stefani at the time. The Photoshopped magazine cover featuring Love should actually become Photoshop’s new ad campaign: “If we can make Courtney Love look attractive, imagine what we can do for your clusters of facial plantar warts, and your goiters!”

It’s amazing the kind of stuff you can find on the Internet, by just drifting around aimlessly. During one such little adventure, we ran into several 3D nude resources, and managed to weed through the junk, to deliver the best to you. My favorite so far is fairly easy to remember: Nudes3D.com, –they have a ton of galleries, featuring fully nude women, in 3D. None of that ‘sign up now, and be redirected to a million different adware saturated links’ bullshit. My other favorite, was BibiGreyCat, who has a bunch of vintage erotica in 3D. We’ve included a few in our gallery, but be sure to check the links for more.

Seriously, does there need to be anything more added to that? Okay, sure, babies are attached to her boobs, and we should probably be more sensitive. But honestly, if you squint your eyes a little, it just looks like she’s wearing a fuzzy bikini. It’s sweet, in a cute girly way; but it’s hot because her tits are absolutely huge because she’s lactating. For all those guys out there with a breastfeeding fetish, we’ve included a shot of the baby-bikini alongside a couple of Julie Bowen’s other bikini pictures. That way, if you feel guilty, you can just click on the next shot to feel right again.

But.. but.. we just covered her sex tape with Justin Frye, or whoever, like, two weeks ago. Now she’s already having another sex tape leaked. When are these stupid tarts going to learn, –don’t tape yourself screwing. Besides, her old sex tape is totally creepy. She looks like a 14 year old. The new one supposedly involves lesbian sex with a woman named ‘Tayrn’, –Tayrn’s ex was the one who blew the lid off the existence of the latest sex tape. Since we have yet to see it, you’ll just have to make do with the creepy stills from her old leaked sex tape, –well, old as in, leaked just a couple weeks ago.

We’ve probably all looked at porn at work, at some point or another; as someone who works at home, I admit, I look at porn while I should be working all the time. And well, I look at porn while I am working, for the sake of our dear readers. But it works a little differently when the people with the alleged porn addiction are fat old city officials in San Francisco. Worse, apparently, some pretty raunchy emails are being sent around the office. the four top officials are facing possible charges, and in the least, some hefty fines, since it was a female employee that complained about the lewd behavior.

Sorry, I’m just not falling for it. PETA’s various ad campaigns featuring naked female celebrities is just not getting me to care more about the animals. Naked women are great, but are they really helping the environment? PETA employees have been caught dumping the dead bodies of animals in dumpsters, and they are notoriously unable to find homes for the animals they shelter, resulting in yet more ‘humane’ animal deaths.

So while it’s hot for chicks to pose naked for the Merchants of Death known as PETA, I’d rather women just went back to posing naked with electric guitars and machine guns. “FUR? I’d rather have my Photoshopped ass mass publicized to millions of people worldwide.”

Ladies, ever wondered if there was a secret formula out there to make cum taste better? Yeah, I know you’ve never thought about that before.. And guys, wouldn’t it be great if your girlfriend or wife didn’t make a big production out of running immediately to the bathroom for some mouthwash? Or desperately looking around for something to spit in, be it potted plant, tennis shoe, or toilet? Well, your prayers have been heard and answered!

Semenex brings you the miracle cure for cum that tastes like toxic waste, or a huge helping of snot. The idea of it is, a man drinks this shake mix, and within a day his cum will taste a lot better. Generally, what makes cum taste bad is a lot of artificial junk foods, red meats, etc., –while fruits and veggies tend to make semen taste sweeter. Semenex offers a shake mixture that provides a much more concentrated dose of fruits that change the flavor of your own personal elixir.

I love this guy Fred, –not only does he have a great ass, but he’s got an amazing collection, and knowledge base on that magical subject know as ‘panty collecting.’ Women today sometimes fail to realize, that some men love lingerie just as much as women do. Lingerie is sexy, and it really brings a lot more femininity to the package than the naked body can deliver. It’s the packaging that the ‘box’ comes in, –and the sad thing is, the appreciation for the art of lingerie is definitely dwindling these days.

Which, once again, is why it’s so nice to see men with a true appreciation of undies. So if you’ve got a panty collection and want to compare photos or pieces of your stash, check out Fred’s Bad Side. Or if you’re a lady looking for the perfect panties to drive a guy wild, –Fred has a lot of experience.

We’re not talking about statutory situations here, we’re talking about real women, who rape real men, –and it is possible. There is a double standard in society, that because women have the internal sex organ, that it’s impossible for a woman to force herself on men. Wrong. The male erection is involuntary, and it is possible for a woman to force a man to have sex with her. In some situations, the woman is more strong, and capable of brutal violence.

A man may be forced into intercourse because of blackmail, or to save their reputations, and so on. Not to mention if there’s forced bondage involved. The reason you never hear about it, or because it’s met with such disbelief and ridicule, is because of long standards that men are the dominant gender. The more men who report female sex offenders, the better, –they do exist, and letting them roam around hurting others is worse than facing a few jeers.

Guys, it’s about time you told women what you want. and honestly, after giving I dunno, a few hundred blow jobs myself, I figure i can throw in a few tips here and there myself. So below, we have the male perspective, and then the female perspective, on the whole thing. Let us know what you think, guy or girl!

Men Say: “Attitude is important, –if you don’t want to give head or think it’s gross, he can tell. And you’ll probably suck at it, and since sex is a big part of the relationship, you’re already looking pretty incompatible. Be up-front about not giving head if you don’t like it right away.”

Women Say: Yeah, attitude is huge, and you are more likely to be terrible at fellatio if the idea cock in your mouth totally disgusts you. Maybe re-analyze why you dislike it, and do some research.

Men Say:  “Eye contact…telling your guy that you want him to watch and then looking up at him while you worshiping his organ is extremely exciting.”

Women Say: True, –plus, it’s not just a turn on for them. You’ll feel more empowered yourself. And believe it or not, you’re the one in the power position here, you’re holding the most important part of the male body between your teeth. It’s sexy, and you find yourself enjoying fellatio even more.

Men Say: “The three most important factors for me are suction, suction, and – SUCTION! Did I mention that I like suction? Doesn’t matter if it’s fast or slow, deep or shallow, as long as there’s that serious vacuum!”

Women Say:  Obviously, –you don’t want to just sit there and drool on the guy’s cock. But also, don’t suck too much. You can accidentally do a whole lot of damage.

Men Say: “I hate women keeping it against the inside of their cheek like wimps.”

Women Say: There are ways to do this right, especially if you’re not really in the mood to gag yourself that day. Be sure that your hands are busy, one working the shaft, the other massaging his balls, especially if you plan to cop out with it on the inside of your cheek. Also, it’s not always a bad thing, –guys with smaller penises get a somewhat rare experience; hitting a barrier. They head of the penis hits the barrier of skin between your cheek and mouth.