Michelle Bombshell is a Hot Nazi

1 Aug

Egotastic has been calling Michelle Bombshell McGee a lot of nasty names and such, just because she’s a Nazi, anti-Semite type chick. Well, to be fair, there is a legitimate fetish for ‘Women of the SS,’ and plenty of guys that aren’t necessarily anti-Semitic are attracted to them. It’s not so much the torturing and killing Jews thing, as a ‘woman in power’ thing. Sure, Bombshell McGee might be a Nazi; but let’s just focus on the fact that she’s a brazen home-wrecker, –who doesn’t mind pumping out nude pics for the rest of us perverts.

Nazi naked pics are by far, one of the more pedestrian fetishes out there; in fact, in some countries, anti-Semites are by several hundred degrees less offensive than lesbians. Maybe I’ll email her and ask nicely if she really is an anti-Semite, just for argument’s sake?

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Rielle Hunter’s Crazy GQ Interview and Photo Shoot

31 Jul

Rielle Hunter is a crazy bitch. And not in the “Girl, you so craaazy” kind of way, but the “crazy, psychotic bitch” kind of way. She’s recently done a photo shoot and interview for GQ that has instantly become one of the magazine’s biggest interviews ever. And this is because, not only does Rielle take totally inappropriate pictures, but she also says some of the stupidest shit you’ll ever hear.

She starts off the interview (which was actually a sleepover, just goes to show Rielle’s maturity level) by talking about how she and “Johnny” (aka John Edwards) met and instantly fell in love. But of course, Rielle never meant that to happen. She simply wanted him to “find who he really was” and “help him save the world.” But in Rielle’s own words, she “could have helped him save the world. But instead I had to sleep with him.” Man, I just hate it when that happens!

Rielle also talks in the interview about how she knew that John Edwards was married and that it did bother her “at first.” Not for too long though apparently, because then she hopped onto his dick when she was supposed to be trying to help him save the world. And then, I think she actually tries to blame breaking up the marriage between John and Elizabeth Edwards on her parents! Because both of them were unfaithful! Oh my Lord, I’ve heard it all now! But not only does she blame it on her parents, but on Elizabeth too! Because “infidelity doesn’t happen in happy marriages.” She may have a point there, but I still don’t think it’s the fault of the person who’s being cheated on.

Pretty much every word that falls out of Rielle Hunter’s mouth is complete crap. The whole interview is her talking about how spiritual she is and how she can see this bigger picture that the rest of us are missing. And then she takes this very sexy photo shoot! Granted, it’s sexy as all hell. But I still stand firm on the fact that I think wearing nothing but a shirt that’s partially opened, and sprawling out on a bed of puppets is not only creepy, but completely inappropriate when you’re talking about how you broke up a very high-profile marriage.

Rielle, do a nude photo shoot showing us all your goodies and keep your mouth shut. Then I’ll actually be able to appreciate it!

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The Isla Fisher Sex Tape

30 Jul

Isla Fisher is the sexy Australian best known for her role in the comedy “Wedding Crashers,” and for dating the crazy Sacha Baron (also known as Borat).

But according to this uncovered sex tape of hers,  she used to be just as wild as her husband back before she was famous. The video features her sucking off some big bald guy and having him blow a load in her pretty face.
…too bad it’s not her.

Yup, another fake celeb sex tape. Cue the disappointed sighing and groaning. At least this fake chick looks kinda sorta similar to the real deal. So if you have a big Isla Fisher fetish this fake video may be all you need. It’s better than nothing right?

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Ever Wonder What Spanish Fly is Made Of?

29 Jul

Well, you’ll wish you hadn’t. Spanish Fly’s active ingredient, cantharidin, is found in an insect; the ‘blister beetle’, called such because it excretes cantharidin, which causes the skin to blister. The bugs are ground up, into a powder; thus “Spanish Fly.” Oh and it gets better. Spanish Fly as an aphrodisiac, is used in very small, diluted doses. However, it’s very easy to take too much. Guess what happens with too much Spanish Fly in your system?

Oh sure, priapism; as if that’s not bad enough, an overdose of Spanish Fly causes inflamed genitalia. So basically, you’re gobbling dose after bitter dose of ground up bug shit, just to get a longer lasting erection, that can easily become an extremely long lasting erection, and a itching, burning crotch. Sounds like fun, no? My suggestion is: stick with chocolate; the only side effect is a bigger ass.

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Upskirts This Week

28 Jul

Aaahh, spring is finally here! Along with all the blooming flowers and pretty sunshine, this is also the season that officially kicks off our time to admire some wonderful pussies as the stars let it all hang out with itty bitty skirts and not a lot of panties. Here are some celebrities that are already starting to feel a touch of spring fever (and, a little freer too!)

Busy Phillips is not the most attractive girl for sure. But this upskirt of her ass cheek is still pretty sweet! [Drunken Stepfather]

And Busy wasn’t the only cougar to flash her goodies to us this week either. Courtney Cox went for a lovely bike ride and showed us even lovelier panties. [Fleshbot]

Amelle Berrabah is the lead singer of Sugababes if you’ve never heard of her. But I think after this photo, she’ll most likely be better known as the leader of the commando upskirt shots. [Taxi Driver Movie]

Katy Perry is always good for some fashion mishaps. But this one she actually meant to give us when she donned some lace leggings and a very short skirt. All to give us just a wee bit of an ass shot. [She’s So Crazy]

Alessandra Ambrosio proves that she’s still one of the tightest models around with this sexy upskirt. [Drunken Stepfather]

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Olivia Munn’s New Photo Shoot is Weeeeeird

27 Jul

Maybe there’s something incredibly orgasmic about a half naked woman surrounded by cartoons that I’m just not understanding. For example, Olivia Munn wearing underwear, a long sleeved glittery shirt, and spike heeled boots, –while riding a cartoon unicorn. Is this some sort of girl-power thing? Or is she making a statement about fantasy equestrian bestiality?

How about the one where she’s posing as Eve, with an apple, and a cartoon serpent, –in greenish gray granny panties? The pose with a chipmunk and a beaver, I can maybe understand, but as for being swallowed by a giant cartoon snake? No, guys, I’m just not seeing the allure. She’s hot, and she’s scantily clad, and that would be enough, –but the Disney-ish cartoon surroundings make me feel a bit guilty, –it’s a little like masturbating while watching cartoons.

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The Kat Von D Sex Tape

26 Jul

When I saw that LA Ink’s Kat Von D had a sex tape I was like “HELL YEA!” But the second I started watching this supposed sex tape I burst out into a fit of giggles. It was so very very fake.

There are loads of fake celeb sex tapes out there, and surprisingly some of them look pretty damn close to the real celeb, but this one is so bad. First off, they are trying to pull off Kat Von D, a woman covered in tattoos. It’s pretty hard to fake those tattoos, but they try, oh yea they try. Looks like the fake drew those star tattoos on her face with a sharpie and the sleeve tattoos, well they’re in color, Kat’s are black portraits. Lame x 10!

So no sexy Kat porn – at least I got a good laugh in.

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7 Horrifying Sex Tips from Cosmo

25 Jul

Sure guys, you like to think that those girly magazines can’t hurt you, but you’re wrong! Women’s magazine like Cosmo, Elle, etc., take away time she could be spending in the kitchen. Not to mention adding to time spent on the couch, with a laughably contemplative look on her face, a ballpoint pen, and endless multiple choice questions. But all these things are basically harmless, unless you’re easily pushed into a psychotic rage. No, Cosmo brings out the really dangerous stuff a few pages away from the monthly quiz. In the sex tips section.

Ladies, don’t do this stuff. Men, if she looks like she wants to try any of it, run away. Cracked.com has the full scoop on Cosmo’s plans to eventually create an army of eunuchs to rule the world.

1. “Very softly bite the skin of the scrotum.”

No. Don’t do this, ever. In fact, when one’s sack is bitten, the fact that you’re a girl may suddenly become second to the fact that you’ve just bitten his balls. I doubt Cosmo is going to pay for your dental/hospital bills.

2. Curtis, 33 says “The most amazing oral sex I’ve ever had was from a woman who jiggled my balls back and forth with her hand, like she was shaking dice in a cup. I thought I was going to explode!”

“Curtis” sounds more like a vindictive woman, first of all. Most men generally don’t care to have their balls smashed into each other rapidly. in fact, a game like Yahtzee! was never meant to be played with any genitalia at all.

3. Cesar, 28, says “A little known erogenous zone: the area between a guy’s navel and his penis. Lick it, tickle it, or gently tug the hairs there.”

Few men will enjoy a woman yanking on their pubes. To the ones that do, someone in Cosmo is definitely looking out for you. For the other 98% of guys who prefer not to have their cock hairs yanked, find and silence this “Cesar” fellow.

4. Cindy, 32, says “Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel good effects.”

The only thing I can think of, is the possibility that the guy’s head might actually explode. Orgasm + a sneeze? Sounds like the answer to that equation is probably ‘seizure + death.’ Not to mention the likelihood of accidentally pouring pepper in his eye.

5. Steven, 23, says “It really sucks when a woman handles your manhood with care. Ladies, our units aren’t that sensitive. We need you to get a little rough with them –squeeze hard, suck hard, really grab on to it like you’re milking a cow. You may think you’re hurting him, but I guarantee if you asked, he’d request more, more.”

One of the more obvious sex tips from someone with a terrible sense of humor, the guy is basically saying, “Yank and squeeze on his cock, and when he starts screaming, you’ll know he likes it. Just don’t ask his permission.”

6. “Move my penis all around like an old-school Atari joystick –up, down, side to side, in a circle.”

Sure. Why not. She’s already attempted to bite off your nutsack, jiggled your balls like dice, yanked out half your pubic hair, poured pepper in your eye, and seriously mistreated your cock. At this point, some Atari joystick action will give you a chance to catch your breath, while she’s building up to finally putting you in the hospital. Or leave, quickly.

7. Jamie, 30, says “Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can.”

Giving an Indian Burn to someone’s cock is a no-no. On your arm is one thing, on your dick, the amplified sensation would be similar to putting your junk in a meat grinder. Ladies, don’t do this, ever.

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Heidi Klum Topless!

24 Jul

It has been said over and over again by others and I’ll say it again – Heidi Klum is pure German perfection. The woman is hot as hell and has a body to die for. A body that we get to see a whole lot of in her recent shoot for Allure magazine.

The entire photo shoot is sexy, and while I am not sure what is smeared over those perfect tits of hers, I’m jealous of whoever had the honor of doing that dirty job. And if that wasn’t hot enough, Allure gives us another topless photo of Klum. This time her amazing rack is covered by nothing more than a string of red lights, and well, they don’t cover much so we get one steamy view.

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Politicians in Minn. Can Still Watch Porn in Their Hotel Rooms

23 Jul

Nice save, too! For some reason, a bill reached the house panel in Minnesota that would prohibit local politicians and government employees from staying in hotels that allowed pay-per-view porno. Not that women are bad people or anything, but that bill sure does have that vague smell of menopausal female politician. But actually, the bill was sponsored by Democratic Rep. Larry Haws of St. Cloud, Minn. (who looks just like the Quaker Oats guy!), whose nuts are probably in the vice-like grip of his wife at this very moment. Anyway, it didn’t make it, thank god for Minnesota’s govt. employees! The bill was voted down by Minn.’s House State and Local Government Operations Reform. However, a companion bill also sponsored by obvious sadist Larry Haws, made it past the Senate committee, and is actually currently on the Senate floor. Let’s hope there are still a few men with balls in there to set this guy straight.

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