Dirty Mag

Originally, I’d planned on posting about Miley Cyrus‘ tits in a see-through top (and I did include one image of that, because why wouldn’t I?). However, I was immediately distracted when I discovered these images taken at a birthday party, which appear to show Miley Cyrus worshiping a big black cock and balls with her tongue. Tragically, this turned out to be a birthday cake designed to look like a big black cock and balls, dashing my hopes of Miley Cyrus having turned to interracial porn to make a buck. Of course, there’s still plenty of time for this fantasy to become a reality, so I guess I should at least be happy that she’s getting some practice at it. Now if I could just get Victoria Beckham on the right track to starring in a bukkake film, I might just win that Nobel Prize I’ve been coveting.

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The world may be growing tired of Lindsay Lohan‘s bullshit, but I don’t think they’ve yet tired of Lindsay Lohan’s big glorious tits. I mean, that’s pretty much the only reason the cameras follow her around anymore, since it’s not as if she’s truly starred in any movies lately. However, because of those cameras, we get these see-through shots of the Lohan’s big boobies, hard nipples and all. The freckly redhead blonde owes us these more candid shots after her terrible, Photoshopped Playboy pictorial, after all. In fact, I might just call it even if she came to my house and treated me to a topless lapdance. I’m a fair and just man, if nothing else. If the judges won’t make her do the hard time she deserves, I can think of much more productive ways she could make it up to society.

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I hate to keep giving Courtney Stodden attention, but dammit, I can’t help it. With how often she has pictures of her teenaged, bimbo body posted on the Internet, it’s impossible to avoid them. And the more I see them, the more I lust after her. So at least I can understand why she’s popular: mass hypnotism. But yet, if sacrificing my free will means that I get to ogle Courtney Stodden’s huge and likely-fake teenaged tits, so be it. This obviously staged photoshoot has her out “jogging” in Los Angeles, because most people in L.A. go jogging in 4″ lucite platform heels. But really, this is a blonde teen bimbo who’s also wearing a skin-tight t-shirt and a barely-there pair of booty shorts, so she might as well go all the way with stripper heels too! Now all we have to do is wait for her to really act the part of a stripper, which I predict will happen before the end of this year.

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There are countless fetishes out there I can’t explain, and glasses are one of them. One could argue it’s the illusion of intelligence, but I don’t really believe that’s the driving force. Whether you follow that theory or whether you don’t give a damn why you find it hot so long as you get to see more hot women in glasses, Mr. Skin has updated with a list of their favorite nude celebrities wearing glasses. Taken from a variety of films, I can’t argue with most of this list, but their #1 is Paz de la Huerta. I’m not a fan, so I’m going to highlight #2-4 instead, and if you want to see the nude clip of Paz de la Huerta, check it out for yourself over at Mr. Skin.

#2 is Nicole Kidman, who looked hot (and often nude) in Eyes Wide Shut. #3 is Laetitia Casta who has always had an absolutely incredible, petite-yet-curvy body. You may be too busy staring at her big, perfect tits to realize she’s wearing glasses (and nothing else), but she is! #4 is Kathleen Robertson from Boss, who rocks glasses like nobody’s business, somehow looking professional even with her perky tit hanging out.

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You can try, but you can’t deny that Mila Kunis is absolutely, amazingly, ridiculously fucking hot. It’s like gravity; it just is. There are plenty of hot actresses out there, but this one is one of few reasons to actually watch bullshit award ceremonies like the Golden Globes. She always looks extra-sexy at these sorts of events, and last night was no exception. She looked every bit the classy and seductive, dark-haired siren, and every bit the cruel cocktease. Her little black dress may not have been the most flattering piece of clothing (break out the slutty minidresses, Kardashian-style!), but it was incredibly sheer, giving plenty of glimpses of her bare breasts through the thin fabric. All the while she puts on her innocent, pretty face, knowing damn well that guys all across the country are dying for a better look at her perky, teasing tits.

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For those of you who weren’t aware, Amanda Seyfried is going to be playing legendary porn star Linda Lovelace in the upcoming film “Lovelace.” The blonde cutie can look really sexy, and I get the feeling she’ll be even sexier as a brunette for the role (see above pic). One thing which doesn’t get much attention is just how stacked Amanda Seyfried is. When people think actresses with big tits, they usually just think Christina Hendricks, which is unfair. Amanda Seyfried differs in that she’s still a tiny girl like most actresses, but with a rack that has to be D-cup at the very least. Here’s a quote from an E! interview with a producer regarding the film:

“It’s a new thing for her, but it’s not about nudity,” he said. “It’s profound, the performance that she’s giving…She’s doing such an amazing job. We’re about two weeks into filming, and the movie’s going to be incredible.

“Thematically, it’s talking about how abusive the porn industry was to Linda Lovelace,” he said. “Yes, there’s a lot of nudity, but it’s a message movie about respecting women.”

As you can imagine, a biopic about a porn actress is going to have plenty of nudity or it’s going to be terrible. And with busty Amanda Seyfried as the star, we’re almost certain to see plenty of shots of her amazing rack and, if we’re lucky, full-frontal nudity.

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Beaches are already a wonderful thing, places where sexy women can get near-naked by throwing on a skimpy bikini and strutting around for everyone to see. Busty Brit Rosie Jones is one such sexy woman, donning a bandeau bikini top, the kind that looks like it could just fall off at any moment. That, however, isn’t even necessary since she removes the top all on her own. God bless women who hate tanlines. The Page Three girl takes off her top so she can evenly tan her big, amazing breasts, giving lucky men at the beach more than an eyeful of high-quality British bosom. And before you say something about how this must have happened in France or Spain or some other European country one imagines is full of bare breasts, this was apparently a beach in South Florida. So yea, even here in America, the land of the Wardrobe Malfunction Outrage, there’s a chance your outing at the beach will be wonderfully interrupted by a topless British glamour model like Rosie Jones.

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I’ve been holding off on posting about LeAnn Rimes, but I think it’s about time to finally do so. She’s been obviously desperate for attention, realizing that she hasn’t been all that famous since the ’90s. In response, she’s lost quite a bit of weight and it appears some of it was replaced with breast implants. She’s been looking pretty damn hot lately and trying her hardest to show off as much of her tight body and cavernous cleavage as possible. In fact, now she’s decided to go out in a tiny bikini to really flaunt her body, showing off a small but round bubble-butt which I never would have expected. Mostly, I just love the shot of her husband reaching over to casually grab a big handful of country-singer ass. I’d be more amazed if he was able to restrain himself from doing so.

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Rihanna may not be my favorite celebrity, but she at least knows how to get attention. When vacationing in Barbados last month, she naturally decided to hit the beach. She also decided to do so in one of the skimpiest bikinis possible, leaving little to the imagination. Not only is it unbelievably tiny, it’s also see-through, giving a nice glimpse of her dark nipples. Given the bikini’s tiny size, the bottoms not only show off Rihanna’s ass, but the narrow top also slides up to give a teasing underboob shot. Granted, we did already see her topless in Ireland a few months ago, but those images were pretty low-resolution, so these high-res pictures of Rihanna in a sheer bikini manage to be sexier even if she is wearing (a tiny bit) more.

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Adrianne Curry reached her 300,000 followers mark on Twitter, which means that she had to own up to her half of the deal. Unfortunately, it’s sort of a mixed blessing. On one hand, she did post a topless picture, as promised, but on the other hand it’s not that great of a photo and it’s about six years old. Shot from the side, you can still make out both of her breasts to some degree, but like most people, I was hoping for a more up-close frontal shot rather than her trotting out some old pic. Not to mention that Adrianne Curry has had larger implants since then, meaning that we don’t even get to enjoy the larger, more impressive rack she sports today. After all, she posed for Playboy a while back, so seeing photos from around that time is nothing new. Still, even in this old image she looks hot as hell, flaunting her perky breasts and tiny waist, but many are annoyed that she’s now said she’ll post a more recent picture when she reaches 500,000 Twitter followers. To make up for that, I’ve also included a couple non-topless images of her which are still sexier than this old photo.

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