Carmen Electra Sex Tape?

4 Sep

When I heard that Carmen Electra had a sex tape I was like – alright, she’s hot and knows how to move that fine body of hers – so I checked it out.

There was one thing missing in her sex tape, the sex.

Yea, this big supposedly “leaked” sex tape has no sex in it at all! It starts out with Carmen and some other chick giggling on a couch and guzzling booze. Boring! It eventually goes to Carmen dancing and stripping, and while her stripping is hot, it’s not what we all wanted. The two women do start kissing at some point, which is quickly followed by more stripper dancing.

Here’s how the rest of the video plays out:  more stripping (yawn) taking some dude’s belt off (snore) now she’s topless (sweet) and just when you think the good stuff is about to start, the camera gets shut off.

Lame.

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Heather Graham, Lesbian Action. What More Could You Want?

3 Sep

Finally! Heather Graham does a movie where she is highly involved with some serious lesbian action. Her lady friend is Jaime Winestone, who personally, I don’t think too much about. But both of their tits make me want to put my head in em and do some harmonica action! (Although I may ask Jaime to remove the weird aluminum foil that’s surrounding her nips first.)

The movie is called Boogie Woogie and it just came out on April 16th. I know I’m definitely going to see this one. I just need to see how Heather boogies with a chick! I’m betting it’s too hot for words. But who needs to talk when you got girl on girl action involving Heather Graham?

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Adriana Lima Topless

2 Sep

Leaked photos of Victoria Secret’s angel Adriana Lima topless have hit the interwebs like a tidal wave of hotness. No one seems to know where the hell these mysterious nude photos came from, but it doesn’t really mater, because really, it’s Adiana-fucking-Lima topless, who cares about the why and where.

Unfortunately, the photos are those high contrast black and whites that are big on pop but low on detail. But hey, they’re better than nothing right? Maybe one day we will get some top quality colored photos of Adriana nude. Until then we’re stuck staring at those cute tits in black and white.

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Catherine Zeta Jones Poses Nude for Allure

1 Sep

And thank god she did… Catherine Zeta Jones’ body is the last tribute to real, grown-up women, –she’s tall, she’s full figured with real tits, and a real ass, and wide, gorgeous hips. Looking at Catherine Zeta Jones naked is like a trip back in time, back to when the supermodels were grownups, and their bra sizes were slightly larger than double-A’s. Allure did a full photo-spread of Jones, –now if only they could get Playboy on-board.

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Screwing on the First Date is Cool

31 Aug

At least it is according to Amelia McDonell-Parry, on TheFrisky.com, who gives five pretty good reasons why screwing on a first date is okay for everyone involved.

  1. “It might be your only chance.” –  Obviously; sometimes, whether you’re male, female, or alien, you just NEED sex with that specific person. Or maybe you’re on the verge of a big commitment and need a last fling, whatever. Either way, if it is your only chance, take it!
  2. “Weeding Out Sexists” – This is one obviously female advice for females, –the description was bla bla bla, a man won’t take you seriously if you sleep with him on the first date, which is bullshit, so on and bla bla bla. Point being, who cares if he/she takes you seriously, or is sexist? You’re going to get laid either way. Woohoo!
  3. “To get laid.” – Pretty obvious that one.
  4. ‘To Test the Sexual Chemistry” – Yeah, makes sense that you’ll wanna test drive your new cock, or pussy. No sense in buying the car if it pulls to the right, makes funny noises, or has a bad transmission.
  5. “Once is Enough” – Whether you’re diving into pussy, or taking a guy by his second, smaller brain, you’re not always going to want to come back for more. There’s more than one set of genitalia in the world, and as humans, we’re inclined to test out those other sets whenever we get the chance.

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Pretty Ladies of the Week!

30 Aug

The hot weather is coming and whether these ladies are taking it all off to go completely nude, or just coming nearly there with an itty bitty bikini, they are taking it off! This week we have hotties like Catherine Zeta Jones, and AnnaLynne McCord (who’s pussy is just shy of peeking out, by the way), and even whole celebrity naked photo shoot from Allure.

Catherine Zeta Jones is always so hot…especially when she’s completely naked! [Drunken Stepfather]

Ashley Dupre is back in the news as she gives us plenty to ogle over in Playboy. And you know a former escort is going to how some deliciousness to show us! [Nudography]

AnnaLynne McCord is like all other girls that have played a part on 90210: crazy hot and desperate for attention. Well, maybe all the other girls is a stretch but whenever there’s a camera on Anna, she totally plays it up and strikes all kinds of “I’m such a hot bitch” poses. Whatever. She is a hot bitch. And yes, if you look really, really close, there’s a tiny almost-peek of Anna’s vag. [Egotastic]

We just don’t see enough of Kate Hudson anymore do we? She’s certainly given us enough to look at in these new bikini pics though! [The Superficial]

Saving the best for last, we have a whack of hot celebrity pussy that decided to strip down for Allure magazine. One of my faves in the bunch is Kara DioGuardi but it’s unfortunate that she teased us by covering up her best parts. There’s something about Kara though. It’s like she really wants to get nude, but there’s just something stopping her. Do it, Kara. Just do it. [She’s So Crazy]

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World’s Most Expensive Sex: Brought to You by NASA

29 Aug

Did you know that at some point in the 90’s, taxpayers were contributing millions so that astronauts could enjoy initiation into the ‘250 miles high club’? It’s true! In his book, ‘The Final Mission: Mir The Human Adventure”, Pierre Kohler reveals that sexual experiments were performed aboard the vessel in zero gravity, in order to research whether or not sex was possible. The experiments, called Project STS-XX tested 10 different sexual positions, for which four were possible without ‘equipment’. The cost was approximately $112.5 million per position. Guess who picked up the tab? Seems kind of unfair that they couldn’t at least make a video for us.

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Dita Von Teese Sex Tape

28 Aug

Dita Von Teese is the world famous burlesque  artist and model that gained a big chunk of fame when she was married to Marilyn Manson. After their breakup she didn’t fade away like others would have, oh no, instead she did Playboy, runway shows,  and a couple porn flicks.

The Queen of Burlesque has been in quite a few porn videos, and looks absolutely flawless in each. So far my favorite is the one of her and another sexy woman fucking each other with a double ended dildo. Dita Von Teese sure knows how to move those hips, and my god does she look fantastic in a corset. I highly recommend checking her tapes out.

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Kim Kardashian Gets Completely Nude for Bazaar

27 Aug

Kim Kardashian is just begging to take her clothes off! And I have to say, while I’m not a fan of Kim Kardashian as a person, these shots in Bazaar are crazy hot. She’s lying on her side, completely naked with that whole, “Oh, I’m just sitting here with my pussy and titties hanging out thinking about the meaning of life” kind of look. It’s definitely no “come hither” and I still bet my bottom dollar that Kimmie had a boob job but, she looks great regardless! If I had any complaints about it, it would be that we didn’t get more than just the one pose. It’s great and all but seriously, you can’t leave us hangin like that.

Just the pics of Kim completely naked are from Bazaar. I just happened to come across the other one, and now am left wondering, “What is that picture from?” I’m definitely going to need to track down the set from that photo shoot because, that’s super hot too!

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True Blood Porno Spoof: Fangbangers Rejoice!

26 Aug

As if there weren’t already a ton of the ol’ in-out, in-out, strokey-stroke in True Blood already, adult film production company, New Sensations, plans to make a porno spoof of the series. True Blood fans who want to see more naked vampires doing the deed will get a big kick out of it, but I have a few questions first, namely.. Don’t most vampires have sex like, at crazy speeds? And, are the effects going to suck? Will there be werewolves?! Check out the trailer! And cross your fingers, –Alan Ball and Charlaine Harris’s lawyers are probably pn the phone with New Sensations right now.

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